I have always welcomed silence and solitude with open arms. As an introvert, I value it than most people. Silence has always been my strength more times than I can count. I was a silent kid too and somehow always managed to find a quiet corner wherever I went. A lot of times people confuse silence with being lonely and even in communication silence is seen as a weakness. As a kid it didn’t bother me so much I guess, but as I grew up and experienced situations, I was forced to question myself and my comfort with silence.
- Is it really a bad thing, to embrace silence?
- Is it a weakness if I choose to not explain myself in a conflict where it doesn’t feel necessary?
- Am I wrong to find silence when everyone else seems so comfortable with noise?
These were important questions. I felt weak and inferior in front of those who found it so easy to fling words across and speak whatever they wanted in a fit of rage without any accountability. Not being able to do that made me feel weak and quite frankly very stupid. I also mistook as not being able to stand for myself. Which in retrospect I now realize, wasn’t the case.
I realized after a lot changed and unhealthy behaviour that I would speak up as and when needed but I needed to gauge the necessity. To be able to keep your cool requires a lot of courage and takes a lot of wisdom. Silence is not necessarily a weakness but a tool. Because to be honest everybody can talk and say whatever the hell they want when push comes to shove, but it takes a lot of courage to ignore what feels meaningless and frankly pointless.
Over the years I’ve heard a lot of unnecessary things from people who didn’t really deserve my attention or respect. Giving them a minute of my time felt like a waste of time. Most of the people have apologized to me in time for being such a bully. People whom I have respected have always found a way to tell me and talk to me whatever they felt in a subtle and healthy manner. Where I could talk in a healthy way and where my point of view was accepted and appreciated. Understanding the difference made me realize the value of silence.
Not everything deserves your attention. There is virtue in silence.
As an introvert and a creative silence has helped me grow and progress.
It preserved my energy
It helped me reconnect with my intuition
It made my life more peaceful
I started engaging in less conflict
Life seemed less messy
My creativity improved
I started inviting people of value in my life
I started to feel more in alignment with my goals
My intentions shifted from negative to positive
There were less distractions
I stopped looking at everyone as harmful
I could venture into more productive areas of my life
I stopped getting angry
I calmed down and started taking charge of my life
I started making better decisions
I started expressing my feelings in a healthy way
Embracing silence helped me wise up in my perception and my communication. I also realized that I was more assertive when instead of lashing out and being unnecessarily mean I started addressing my feeling assertively.
Being able to choose silence over constantly explaining yourself or arguing or giving something attention is very different from being quiet without a choice because you feel you’re not confident to speak up or feel less than or regret not saying what you felt. There are times I speak up when it’s absolutely needed and that for me came from a place of silence.
I’ve always been the one who prefers silence over chaos and noise and it’s no different with my personal conduct with people. I find it difficult to connect with people who are angry, quick to lash out, argue, insecure, narcissistic, egotistical… proving them my worth or my point of view seems very futile somehow.
If you’re someone who finds it difficult to speak back and constantly regret being silent, here are quick questions to ask yourself –
- Am I choosing silence because I don’t have anything to say or because it’s pointless and doesn’t matter?
- Does being silent somehow make me feel less confident or inferior? If yes, why?
- Does this (person/situation) deserve my attention?
Please note, I’m not suggesting you deal with any kind of injustice happening with you or not to stand up for yourself. Every situation is different and everyone has their own way of dealing with conflict and unhealthy situations. Silence has been my tool of strength in many ways.
I hope this article helps you in some way. If it does, do like the heart it always means a lot to me. If you journal these questions do share your responses with me.
Thank you for stopping by.
If you’d like to understand yourself further, you can –