For a lot of people self-compassion is tough however, self-criticism comes quite easily.
"I am such a pathetic loser
I am useless
this is definitely not my cup of tea
I am doomed
Can’t speak in public – Such a failure!
Haven’t received so and so many number of likes? Your work must be shitty!”
Any of this sounds familiar to you?
Yes! I go through this self-criticism pretty often.
Self-criticism is when we have an endless negative mind chatter. And it's far from pleasant. This negative mind chatter activates our emotional and mental threat system. This mind chatter is really harsh, cruel and sometimes unnecessary.
What I’ve noticed is that most people aren’t really aware of whether they’re critical or compassionate toward them. This lack of awareness can create a lot of disturbances in the way we communicate with ourselves, of the way we set our goals, or the way we see ourselves.
An awareness will help you change your perspective toward yourself, your life and help you understand your feelings of guilt, shame and embarrassment.
Take this simple text to find out whether you’re a self-Compassionate person or a self-critical person? Answer these in yes or no.
The most number of yes reflect that you’re a critical person.
Try to be honest with yourself. There’s no one to look at your answers so take your time and respond to each item.
Questionnaire -
- I find it hard to be kind to myself
- If something goes wrong i automatically blame myself
- I don't deserve to do nice things for myself
- I'm very critical of myself when things are not going well
- I'm very critical of myself when things are going well
- When I am having a hard time, I wouldn’t even think to look after myself like I would a friend
- I focus a lot on my faults and flaws and can’t let them go
- If I make a mistake I give myself a really hard time
- When I am struggling, I don’t treat myself with much care
- I can’t accept mistakes I’ve made or things I haven’t done well
- I think over and over about things I don’t like about myself
- I am not very gentle with myself when I am suffering emotionally
- If I make a mistake I feel like I should be punished
- I feel like I’m the only one who struggles or fails at things
The reason we're so hard on ourselves is because we label ourselves so easily, we're used to generalizing the problems we face in our lives and almost always tend to put unreasonable pressure on us. Saying things like - "I should've done it this way" " or I shouldn't have done this" we immediately tend to criticize ourselves.
By taking this questionnaire did you learn something about yourself ?
Did this help you or guide you in any way?
If you are too self-critical, how do you think you can be self-compassionate?
I hope this article helps you in some way.