As someone who gets anxious easily, I’ve always felt uneasy not knowing things. I tend to get worried and there are days when my anxiety gets the better of me. Especially if I’m waiting for something to happen. I suppose I’m used to looking at uncertainty in only one way. And recently I’ve been evaluating my thinking process. I’ve been asking myself questions and it hasn’t been easy, but I’ve come across this different way of looking at things that I didn’t before. I stumble many times when trying out this new way of thinking and it is a lot of work. But I’ve never shied from hard work before, so I do bounce back each time I lose my focus.
So, here’s a new way of thinking, what if the fear of uncertainty was looked at with enthusiasm? Do you think it would change the way you looked at uncertainty?
I tried it, and I have to say, it was quite nerve-wracking in the beginning. I was worried of course but I was also starting to feel excited. The fear of the ‘worst case scenario’ had started to slowly fade away. It did crop up if I was at all triggered in any way, but I tried. I still have a long way to go for this kind of mindset to take over and frankly, I would love for it to take over.
It’s a funny thing, when I work with my clients and offer them a different perspective on something that makes them anxious, they get excited about reframing their mindset. They feel so optimistic that I start to realize just how powerful our minds can be. It only takes a couple of seconds to make that shift. Such a wonderful thought to reframe fear of uncertainty to feeling enthusiastic about that uncertainty.
I’m going to talk about certain points that will help you with reframing this thought or belief concerning uncertainty.
Review of the risks you’ve taken in the past –
Whether you realize it or you don’t, you have taken risks before where you felt uncertain regarding the outcome. Take a moment of your time to revisit those risks. Whether it was the risk of leaving a relationship, getting into a new relationship, signing up for a new job/project, leaving an old place, or starting somewhere new. These were risks where you couldn’t have known how the outcome would be. Despite the uncertainty, you did take them. I don’t know how they fared in your life but I imagine they served you well in some way if you’re here reading these words. My point is, you’ve already experienced uncertainty and back then too it must’ve felt how you feel today or on most days. I would like to invite you to keep reminding yourself that you’ve navigated these waters before, you can always navigate again. This time try to feel more secure than you do.
Eye on your vision and goal –
I can understand that with uncertainty comes a lot of impatience. And impatience is known to ruin so much energy and enthusiasm. Even though I understand that it’s normal to start to feel impatient after a while, I still feel like we can always have a lot of control over it. I tend to try to retain my optimism and enthusiasm when impatience starts to increase is by realigning with my vision and my goal. I write down my goal and the things that cause impatience in this journey. I allow myself to fully experience that impatience inward. I acknowledge it and quite beautifully what follows are important questions that I ask myself. It takes a minute to understand how this works and it’s even harder to describe or articulate. But every time, I write down my goals and my vision and the things that cause impatience I’m automatically hit with a wave of questions that eventually give me answers that make me calm down. I guess you need to try it to experience what I’m talking about.
Change your self-limiting beliefs -
If you haven’t heard this before, let me be the first to say it. Most of the time your fear of uncertainty comes from a place of your own self-doubts and limiting beliefs. It comes from a voice within you that doesn’t think you’re worth it. The voice of your inner critic that gives you so much evidence of failure and ruin that you succumb to that voice. You don’t challenge that voice because you’ve been convinced that you’re not worth the outcome you hope for. And the more evidence you give your mind the more it tends to show you exactly what you believe. That’s how perception works, and this adds to the fear and anxiety that you already have. Thus, preventing you from doing anything about it. Re-read this again if you need a minute to understand. If your mind is convinced that you’ll never get the job you seek because you’re not good enough and there are better people to fill that role, you’ll only see your limitations and feel convinced that you’re not fit for the job. Naturally, this will cause further fear of uncertainty. Try to work against the limiting beliefs and try to challenge them by motivating yourself, using words of appreciation, and trying positive self-talk.
Being comfortable with Choices and Regrets –
Have you ever wondered how is it that you’re so comfortable with the choices you make where you’re certain of the things you don’t want but so afraid of the uncertainty of things you want or desire? I’ve always felt that and I’ve been questioning that more and more recently. I’ve come to understand that we’re afraid of the consequences of the choices we make. We don’t wish to regret and go through the discomfort of all that a wrong choice may lead to. That fear is why we’re so hesitant of making choices where we desire or want something.
Reason Logically with a best- and worst-case scenario –
Sometimes there’s a lot of relief in the old-school way of thinking. Regular list of what could be the best case and/or the worst case for any uncertainty in a situation that you could be dealing with. I would like to suggest that you try to look at both scenarios from a fair point. Don’t let the worst-case scare you. In my opinion, it’s always better to look at the worst case to understand what’s truly going on in your mind and how you feel so you may then work on it in the best way possible. I find using positive statements and challenging the belief really helps. It also helps to understand your insecurities better. It helps to stay prepared if the worst-case scenario would turn out to be the outcome.
Lastly, I’d like to leave you with these three journal prompts on uncertainty that usually helps me. Take a moment to pause anytime you’re going through uncertainty and journal these questions. I find that writing them in an actual book could be most beneficial.
In what way does uncertainty scare you? How do you feel about uncertainty?
What risks have you taken or want to take in your life?
How can you create possibilities and overcome the fear of these risks?
You can also meditate with this affirmation from time to time.
“I’m always eager to learn something new. I embrace uncertainty and unfamiliar territory.”
If you’d like to share something with me or ask me a question, please feel free to write to me at nikitavyas@outlook.in or DM me on @nikitaavyas
If you’re interested in working with me one-on-one please take a look at my C+C program. If one-on-one feels daunting to you, you can work at your own pace by purchasing one of the journals or guides from my shop. You can also subscribe to my paid newsletter called, Nikita’s daily reminders where you’ll receive words of comfort, encouragement, appreciation, and support.
Thank you for reading.
Pause, Breathe, Dream
Nikita