"If I don’t make any mistake, I probably won’t make a fool, of myself.
If I don’t make any mistake, I probably will finally feel good about me or my work
If I don’t make any mistake people will really value me and respect me"
I lived in a surrounding where making mistakes was considered a sign of weakness and unworthiness. There were severe punishments to making mistakes and one had to face serious consequences.
As a young teen, as a child, I believed that if I never made a mistake I’ll be accepted and loved. I’d be considered special and ‘good enough’.
But the reality was slightly different. I could never be the ‘Perfect’ child I so desperately wanted to or was striving to become. The more I tried to be perfect and just good enough, the more I experienced failure. Slowly I began to feel unworthy of love and respect.
I couldn’t bear to be someone who made mistakes and wasn’t perfect. I couldn’t bear to experience the feelings that came along with making mistakes. Namely – Shame, self-doubt, guilt, fear. Anxiety, judgement – these feelings terrified me. I wasn’t okay with experiencing embarrassment.
Slowly and naturally, this control of trying to be perfect and just good enough started haunting me in my career and my relationships. I attributed every rejection and every failure to – ‘I’m not perfect therefore, I failed.’ And I started being way too harsh on myself. Set rules for myself that prevented me from making mistakes.
‘I must not make any mistakes!’ – This was sort of the mantra I kept chanting.
Not only did it not work but it made me miserable and my life, super messy and confusing.
‘What was I doing wrong?’
It wasn’t till I let go of a few people in my life and started my own journey of transformation that
I realized how making a mistake is not a crime but natural and sometimes also a necessity.
I realized it’s okay to make mistakes.
It’s okay to take a chance.
It’s totally okay to fail, more than once.
I realized that making mistakes helped me realize the areas of my life that I hadn’t discovered yet. I realized making mistakes has nothing to do with being worthy.
The more I accepted that I’m full of strengths and flaws the more, good enough I felt.
Acknowledging mistakes paved a new way of growth for me. The kind of growth that encompasses peace, success, growth, worthiness and happiness.
As an Introvert –
Making mistakes allowed me to express myself in a better way. Freer than before. More easily and less uncomfortable.
As a Creative –
I don’t think I’ve met any creative who hasn’t made a mistake. In fact, most creatives swear by it. Being comfortable with making mistakes helped me explore unlimited ways to tap into my creative self.
Of course, having said that, making mistakes is not an excuse. It’s a tool that needs to be used for the purpose of your growth and progress.
In what way do mistakes make you better in your skills/talents and life?
What kind of growth are you looking forward to in your life?
How can you be more appreciative in your life to feel confident?
These Journal prompts will help you redirect the way you see mistakes and how you can make the best use of them.
Breathwork Practice + Visualization Practice
3 – 5 Minutes
Stand with your feet shoulder length apart. Be comfortable with your posture. Bring your hands to your side. Just to feel at ease and comfortable. Keep your eyes opened with a soft focus. Take in a deep breath and exhale through your nose. Continue this way 5 times. Be slow and gentle with yourself.
Once you feel comfortable. Close your eyes. Imagine a younger version of yourself in front of you. Be as clear in your imagination as you can. Stretch your arms towards your younger self and imagine giving her a warm hug. Embracing her with love and warmth. Release your arms and bring them to your sides again. Repeat this for at least 5 times.
Journal how you felt after the exercise.
Please note – Don’t force yourself. Allow it to naturally happen. It may feel really odd at first to embrace air and practically nothing in front of you but focus on how this practice makes you feel. Be gentle with your eyes. If you feel light-headed, you may do this initially with your eyes opened till you feel more accustomed with the practice. If you don’t feel a connection, don’t worry about it. Journal how you feel honestly. Practice this everyday for at least 7 days to understand the effects of this breathwork + Visualization practice better.
The talents & skills I have in me are now surfacing easily with every mistake I make.
This Breathwork + Visualization technique will help you overcome your feeling of shame and embarrassment that you’ve been feeling about yourself since your childhood/teen years. The affirmation will help you accept you acknowledge mistakes easily and guide you toward your growth. The Journal Prompts will help you gain incredible insight.
I hope this article helps you in some way. Do share your journal entries with me by tagging me on Instagram.