• Nikita Vyas

How can the art of Making Mistakes help you improve your personal skills?

"If I don’t make any mistake, I probably won’t make a fool, of myself.

If I don’t make any mistake, I probably will finally feel good about me or my work

If I don’t make any mistake people will really value me and respect me"

I lived in a surrounding where making mistakes was considered a sign of weakness and unworthiness. There were severe punishments to making mistakes and one had to face serious consequences.

As a young teen, as a child, I believed that if I never made a mistake I’ll be accepted and loved. I’d be considered special and ‘good enough’.

But the reality was slightly different. I could never be the ‘Perfect’ child I so desperately wanted to or was striving to become. The more I tried to be perfect and just good enough, the more I experienced failure. Slowly I began to feel unworthy of love and respect.

I couldn’t bear to be someone who made mistakes and wasn’t perfect. I couldn’t bear to experience the feelings that came along with making mistakes. Namely – Shame, self-doubt, guilt, fear. Anxiety, judgement – these feelings terrified me. I wasn’t okay with experiencing embarrassment.

Slowly and naturally, this control of trying to be perfect and just good enough started haunting me in my career and my relationships. I attributed every rejection and every failure to – ‘I’m not perfect therefore, I failed.’ And I started being way too harsh on myself. Set rules for myself that prevented me from making mistakes.

I must not make any mistakes!’ – This was sort of the mantra I kept chanting.

Not only did it not work but it made me miserable and my life, super messy and confusing.

What was I doing wrong?

It wasn’t till I let go of a few people in my life and started my own journey of transformation that

  • I realized how making a mistake is not a crime but natural and sometimes also a necessity.

  • I realized it’s okay to make mistakes.

  • It’s okay to take a chance.

  • It’s totally okay to fail, more than once.

  • I realized that making mistakes helped me realize the areas of my life that I hadn’t discovered yet. I realized making mistakes has nothing to do with being worthy.