How to be Confident when you no longer feel Confident?
Does this sound anything like you?
Has there been a time or a moment when you felt as if confidence was sucked out of you never to return?
“I have to make this presentation in front of so many people! I don’t think I can do this!”
“I’m trying to launch this new product/service/company and I just can’t go ahead with it. I mean I don’t even have a business degree. It’s going to be a huge disaster.”
“I’m a mom and a business owner, this is beyond my capacity.”
“This guy ruined my self-esteem and my confidence. I don’t think I’ll ever find love again!”
What do you do when you don’t feel confident at all? Not even a little bit? Sounds really scary right?
To be honest, it can get very scary to not have confidence in you.
Confidence is a tool, it’s an emotion, it’s a feeling that encourages you to achieve anything you want. It fuels you to wake up everyday and kickass at whatever you do.
Despite having self-doubt there’s a part of you that feels 0.01% confident and sometimes that’s enough.
But what happens when it’s totally empty? When there’s no confidence left in you due to any kind of reason. A person, A situation, An event.
Is something like this possible? Yes! It most definitely is possible.
We all go through this zero-confidence level at one or more than one point in our lives.
Pause reading, take a moment to think about the times you felt as if there wasn’t any confidence left in you. Write it down and continue reading.
These events and situations can have a huge impact on our lives leaving us feeling really really low. It’s universal and common.
So how do you bounce back when something like this hits you?
How do you get going despite no confidence at all?
Let me introduce a word called “Borrowed Confidence”
What it really means is that you literally borrow confidence not from yourself but from various other sources to help you get past that feeling of 0% confidence. Let’s dive in!
1. From your Past self – I’ve heard many people say this. They were confident till they had to go through this incident. Which changed everything about them, their confidence and their self-esteem. It’s so normal and happens to most people. But what we can do is go back in time before that incident and to the times when we were confident, borrow that confidence and use it today. It’s going to require some quality, quiet time for you to introspect and think but once you do that, one you bring to awareness that feeling of confidence you’ll learn how easy it is to tap into confidence each time you need it because you’ve already experienced it.
2. From your supporters – I say this to most of my clients and I’ve used it in my life too. Even if you don’t have confidence in yourself trust in the confidence others have in you. I didn’t have any confidence to start my own business or launch the digital products but I did so only because my mother and my brother were so encouraging. They knew I’d do very well. Just because they were so confident in me, I borrowed that confidence to start my business. And they weren’t wrong at all. I’m glad I did that. I’m sure you’ve got supporters in your life as well, even if they aren’t the people you expect they’re still around if you take a closer look.
3. From the feedback you receive – I was ready to give up on my work, my online courses and my one-on-one services because I wasn’t feeling confident enough to keep going. I somehow stumbled upon a few feedbacks I’d received on my services and my products. These were so genuine and seemed so real. Sure, I wasn’t feeling confident but I continued solely relying on the confidence my clients had in me. Go back to the feedback you’ve received. Is that making you feel confident? Is that good enough to carry on with your work and that big dream of yours?
4. From your mentors – You don’t have to talk them or meet them to make them your inspiration and mentors. You only need to think of how they would react in such a situation. What they would do and say. How would they feel. Sometimes this simple little approach can really help you take that first step or that big step. I’ve seen it happen in my life and many others. I’ve seen people start businesses, make a huge lifestyle change, make some amazing decisions simply because their mentors were doing that. Most kids aspire to choose a career or become something based on the mentors in their field. This is also borrowed confidence. You borrow the confidence that you mentor may have and get to work accordingly. There’s some poetry to that. Maybe you’ll become someone’s mentor someday.
These are a few ways you can gain some confidence in your life especially if you aren’t sure if you have any of it left in you.
Note to self – We’re all born with a good amount of confidence in us. As we grow older and start learning about fear our level of confidence reduces and we attract more fear. Confidence is a skill. Anyone at any point of their life can become confident. Its also very personal. It shouldn’t be generalized on my opinion. Practice the art of cultivating more confidence and before you know it, you radiate confidence.
I hope this little concept of borrowed confidence helps you take the big leap in your life. Please do share it with your friends and loved ones. The more awareness and ideas you spread the more you receive it.
Thank you so much for stopping by!
Pause, breathe, dream..