It's uncomfortable but useful - An activity on emotions and feelings
- Nikita Vyas
- 2 days ago
- 4 min read
Do you ever find yourself hiding away from making big changes in your life? Has there ever been a time when you know you need to level up and upgrade but something holds you back and you somehow find excuses to not make the big leap? Maybe it’s the fear of uncertainty about the future or the guilt of letting go of something. Maybe you get stressed about the consequences that this change will bring. When you ignore the need to level up you know in your mind and your body that you are stagnant and stuck.
When people come to me with this stagnation, I know that they’re ready to upgrade and make changes but they somehow find it difficult to organize and navigate. The fear is too strong and empowering. Somehow self-doubt is one of the major reasons why people fear the big change.
In my own experience with big changes, I’ve realized that somehow, I tend to go back and forth with my decisions. I tend to overthink and it does drive me crazy many times. I’ve realized that when I’m dealing with these changes the people around me are also deeply affected by my overthinking too.
There’s a physical energy in me when I know I need to make a big change in my life. But sometimes my mind tends to get in the way. I’m someone who expects to see changes and positive changes quickly, when that doesn’t happen right away the self-doubt creeps in. I easily start comparing myself with people around me and find myself going back on my own decision of the change.
It happened to me when I started my podcast, my Tarot offering, my Tarot course, and my coaching and counselling program as well. When I needed to make big lifestyle changes, I was struggling to go ahead with the change. I have spoken a lot about changes before and I can understand how terrifying it can feel to let go.
I think where most of us, atleast I do, make an error is in not acknowledging the emotions that we’re experiencing in that moment or that phase. We try to keep a positive outlook and push through and that’s not a bad thing, however, it always helps to acknowledge what emotions we’re experiencing in that moment.
Is it fear or just nervousness? Is it anger or irritability? Is it pain or sadness? Is it anxiety or worry? Is it the fear of failure or success?
In my opinion, the more we confuse how we feel, the more distressed we tend to feel. The way we react or respond in our lives comes a lot from the emotions we go through. When we feel angry our reaction and response is more volatile and harsher. Similarly, when we feel scared, we can see that our body tends to shrink and our thoughts are racing with the worst-case scenario.
Of course, since I’m talking about uncomfortable emotions in this article my focus is on emotions that we tend to avoid or categorize as negative or heavy.
When we need to make life-changing decisions or moves how we feel can prevent us from overthinking or reacting. We can find a balance or a ground to hold on to instead of feeling like we’re all over the place.
It’s a simple start to feeling more in charge and calmer, in my experience. Acknowledging may not necessarily solve your distress but it definitely helps find a ground to hold on to and prevent from reacting or responding in an unhealthy manner, especially when I’m making a big change and find myself making excuses to make that shift.
So, here’s what I like to do, these are obviously simple tips that you must have heard before, however, this could be a simple reminder.
I ask myself this question and try to write down the most honest answer I can get –
“What’s the word that comes to mind about this situation?” Whatever word I get I try to write how that is affecting me physically, emotionally, mentally, and in my behaviour.
On a fresh page, I write the word on top, and below that, I make four columns and title each column with physical, emotional, mental, and behaviour. Then under each column, I write how this word or feeling is affecting me.
Physical – how do I feel in my body?
Emotional – What do I feel like doing?
Mental – What are the thoughts that come in a loop?
Behaviour – how am I behaving because of this feeling?
I’d like to invite you to try this out too.
If you do, don’t worry about getting it right. The idea is to allow you to acknowledge how you feel and acknowledge the right feeling so you can then take the necessary steps to deal with your distress.
In my job, I’ve noticed that acknowledging the right emotions and feelings has helped people stay calm and get better clarity to think. Sometimes they’ve observed that what they feel and what they think they’re feeling is vastly different. Once they acknowledge what they actually feel, it’s not all that scary or big.
Hope this simple tip helps you in some way.
Thank you for reading!
This article was also published on my Substack - (Click here to read)
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