I’m just going to go ahead and say it –
We’re terrified of kindness.
We want it and expect it but we’re extremely terrified of it.
I think it’s the feeling we simply can’t seem to shake off that kindness appears vulnerable and too gullible. I’ve talked about kindness with people and it’s always the same – “I don’t want them to take advantage of me” and this fear, this worry is the reason we’re always on edge.
The only reason I think we feel so insecure about being hurt is because we’re also not good at showing kindness to ourselves. We jump to making judgments about how we’re not good judge of characters or how we’re not good at something or how its so bad that we’re so vulnerable. Sometimes we tend to compare our present based on the experiences of our past and convincing ourselves that being kind is not always a good thing.
Let’s say if someone does take advantage of your kindness, does it reflect poorly on you or on them?
How does it then control your life or affect your ability to be kind in your life?
I think what’s important to remember that showing kindness is not about others as much as it is about our choice. We chose to be kind to a certain person. Should we then expect the other person to be grateful or appreciative? – Ideally not necessarily.
Showing kindness is a value you choose to express but being appreciative is not a value that you will always receive. Sometimes your kindness will be left unrewarded. And that’s okay.
I’m certainly not advocating you turn a blind eye to those who really harm you. It’s just as essential to draw the line. Boundaries are important and this way you show yourself some kindness.
The price of kindness is never too high. Its about the feeling of satisfaction that you did something selfless. It’s a kind of personal growth that also tends to heal you in many ways. The act of kindness doesn’t always have to be too big, something small also does the trick.
We’re filled with insecurities, guilt, burden, stress and so much more – being kind is a practice that allows you to forget all that and be mindful. Doing something for someone else is a great mindfulness practice. Especially in a world where we’re always thinking about ourselves, our comfort, our success. Being kind is the least we can do.
I really hate home chores but when I do it with the intention of helping my mom so that her burden is reduced it makes me feel at peace about doing something for her. Similarly, you too could do an act of kindness today and note your experience – if it feels good, try to practice it every day.