Why most people don’t make progress? + Free Journal Prompt worksheets
I wish I could provide a service that guarantees quick and fast results. But the question that I often ask myself is, even if I do provide a service that has quick and fast results, how effective will the results be? Will it help in the long run? Will it help in increasing success as well as happiness?
These are the most common queries I receive from new clients
“How soon will I feel better after I work with you?”
“When will I see the improvements or results in me?”
“Will I become totally confident and feel good all the time after the sessions?”
“What is the guarantee that my life will get better?”
Even though I understand how flavourful quick result sounds, I don’t think I’ve ever liked it or promised it to any of my clients. Having said that I’ve also gone through the frustration that comes along with results that are mostly, slow.
I’ve often shared stories about the success stories I’ve received of clients who’ve experienced progress but rarely mentioned about those stories that haven’t. This takes me back in time when I was new with my private practice and didn’t quite start my business full time.
Today I offer packages but back in the day It was session wise. I’ve had experience working with clients who wouldn’t follow through and wouldn’t keep up with sessions even though they were making progress. While I also had experience working with clients who came back week after week working with me and acknowledging their progress.
Initially I assumed that the clients who didn’t follow through were not happy with my services or my approach. This confused me a bit too because you see they were making good progress. When a client reached out to me for a session, I asked her about her expectations and she said she wanted to feel good overnight. Just in one session. When I tried to explain that just a session may not really work and she would need to give it time she didn’t want to. She assumed a couple of sessions would do the trick.
This is the issue with most people. There are no overnight results. Having said that there’s always some progress. But the sad part is that people who think have made overnight results don’t really know the progress they have been making for so long.
I remember talking to a client once who is a baker, we were working together and I asked her what did she love so much about and she told me it she loved the process. Right from the base to the icing to decorating it, she loved the process. And so naturally I asked her, “do you always get good results?” and she laughed and said “not at all Sometimes the taste is way off but I learn something always. Its tough to explain but with every disastrous recipe I’ve grown”
That made perfect sense to me.
Have you felt that way before?
Of course, these anecdotes were more on the professional front but I’ve also experienced this in my personal life especially in my relationships. Relationships aren’t perfect and do require work, all sorts of relationships need work. Its certainly difficult to pin it down and show you the progress, it’s just a feeling that you get. I’ve had clients tell me that they see progress in their relationships just by being authentic, saying no, prioritizing better, understanding better, creating better boundaries, feeling a sense of connection and all this in my opinion is progress. Even though it you make changes on work on yourself, it’s still progress.
So, the question remains, why don’t most people experience this progress?
The two mindsets that tend to create a blockage for most people are –
They aren’t willing to learn more – they think and say that they already know it
They predict a certain approach or strategy or technique will not work for them even without trying.
When you look at an artist, a painter let’s say, they don’t get the picture, the lines, the colours in the first attempt. They practice it over and over again. They try different approaches and tools. Let’s say for example they learn that a few colours don’t match well or the brushes need to be changed or the canvas/paper needs to change. Sometimes they need to stop and redo the entire thing differently.
This is a learning process. (Mindset 1) They are willing to learn more.
With every attempt and different approach, they try something new and different. (Mindset 2)
This is applicable not just to artists but almost everyone in my opinion. There’s always something that need to learn and the more you learn the more progress you see. The more you try the more progress you experience.
If you want to see the actual progress that you’re making, remember to let go of these two very strong mindsets
1. The mindset that you already know it and there’s nothing more to learn
2. The mindset to conclude that this (method, technique, approach) won’t work even without trying.
Instead ask yourself these questions, Journal them as often as you can.
What did I learn with this failed attempt?
What is the progress I’ve made since last time?
What do I need to improve?
What do I need to adapt?
How can I appreciate myself?
If you were to take my advice, I’d say, don’t put yourself in the good progress or bad progress columns. I’ve known people to do that and more than unhelpful this method seems unnecessary.
Take it one day at a time
Appreciate yourself more
Be more compassionate with yourself
I’m sure you’ll see yourself making progress that will motivate you to go ahead and keep going.
I hope this piece of information helps change the way you look at progress. I hope you find that motivation you’re looking for.
Thank you for stopping by.