But life had other plans - an essay on sudden changes and mindset shifts
- Nikita Vyas
- Jan 2
- 5 min read
There’s a card in tarot that has often shown up in the readings I’ve done for myself. This card is called “the tower” card. It’s one of the major arcana cards and it essentially talks about catastrophes and sudden unexpected changes or disappointments. When it comes to change, I’m not the one who gets very excited and happy. I feel anxious. There’s a panic that starts to set in. When something disrupts or doesn’t go the way I expected or when there’s a sudden flip in the routine, it affects me way too much.
I’ve often cringed at the phrases, ‘it happens for a reason’ ‘change is the only constant’ ‘this won’t last forever’ ‘accept what is happening with you right now’ ‘life doesn’t always go according to the plan’ and of course, I understand that these phrases usually are said with the intention to cause comfort, however for me, they usually give me the feeling of helplessness.
Wouldn’t you feel that way too?
A sudden flip in something that was going well. An unexpected pause in life. It really rattles my cage. It makes me feel uncomfortable.
So anytime this card shows up for me, it’s a sign that I need to pay attention to. The fear starts to set in. I feel a chill down my spine. So naturally, I ignore it and keep at what I’m doing. But the fear keeps playing in my mind. The worry has already started to gnaw at me. This feeling of helplessness starts to affect me physically and before I realize the amount of pressure I’ve put on myself, I fall sick. There’s the catastrophe I’d been trying to ignore. It’s such a vicious circle that tends to happen on a loop.
I realized that change is something that terrifies me. I assume the worst and soon I’m sucked into a whirlpool of chaos and noise. And often I’ve missed this very simple reality that catastrophe or change is usually a sign of slowing down. A sign that maybe I’m off balance and maybe I’ve been in a bubble that’s probably unhealthy. Perhaps my ego gets too high or maybe I’m too comfortable and it’s now causing me harm.
I’ve often experienced that when life has other plans for me when I have no choice but to accept everything that’s going on, all that I want to happen for me in my life, happens even more beautifully. It usually takes a minute for me for this reality to set in. But when that chaos and noise calm down, I realize the balance that has been restored.
I still haven’t fully been able to grasp or accept the concept that life happens. And the majority of why this happens is because I’ve realized how much I dislike failure. And this fear of failure is what keeps manifesting in my life. When something is going well and smooth in my life somewhere I do have this fear that it’ll go away or that I’ll fail and it won’t last. And this fear manifests over and over. It’s a little difficult to put a finger on it when it happens, but after all the chaos and noise it’s pretty evident to me that this unexpected disappointment and catastrophe was my own creation. My fear played the part so beautifully.
I think most of us have this mindset and this belief that if something good is happening, it’s not going to last, things will crumble and everything will fall apart sooner than later. I’ve had conversations about this with my clients so very often. And this fear is set in most of us due to various reasons. Our conditioning, our values, the things we were taught as kids, and there’s no telling as to how this plays out in our lives.
I’m slowly realizing that this is now becoming a big limiting belief for me. Just when things are working out, to anticipate something terrible. It usually happens when I try to dream big or play big. There’s a weird guilt that sets in and then I see everything falling apart just as I’d imagined it in my mind.
Mindset is everything for me. It’s a magical tool that I always fall back on. I’ve believed that you create your own reality. You are the creator of everything that happens to you. Therefore, you attract events and people and situations based on your current mindset. As a coach, therapist, healer, tarot reader I have a lot of faith in the art and science of energies. The energy you give out is the energy you often attract. This philosophy is the foundation of my life and existence. It reflects heavily in the work I do, the relationships I have and the choices I make for myself.
Limiting beliefs play a heavy role when it comes to my mindset. And for someone who gets anxious easily, I realized that I need to pay extra attention to the mindset and thoughts that keep playing in my mind all the time. I’m not someone who externalizes and blames fate for everything that happens to me. I tend to internalize and always check with what my brain is constantly thinking and the dialogues I’m constantly telling myself.
To face the reality that my mind has a negative dialogue playing on a loop and that I’m succumbing to it is often hard to face and even harder to reframe. The brain is a muscle and therefore you can train it. What you feed your brain constantly, that’s what you’ll constantly see. It’s easier said than done but in my experience it’s possible.
So each time something tends to fall apart in my life, I try to restore my balance in the best way possible. I allow the noise to come and go. I avoid reacting to it. Then I do a reality check with my own mindset. It helps to understand and tune in to my intuition and take it from there.
I usually journal and ask myself this very important question – What’s the internal dialogue that’s going on in my mind? Where is it coming from? How can I reframe it to something that’s more optimistic and productive?
I usually require more than one attempt to actually see changes happening in my mindset. I sometimes fall and fail. It’s easier to think something negative than put your faith into something optimistic because the results aren’t there yet. It’s a chicken and egg problem. It can be difficult to see the results without doing the work and without any guarantee that we’ll see the desired result the motivation to do the work just isn’t there. But, in a practical sense it makes sense to do the work. At least give it a fair shot!
I don’t know your story and what you believe in. These thoughts are based on my experience with my life and the miracles I’ve seen when I internalize and introspect rather than wait endlessly for things to turn around.
I honestly don’t know what you may take away from this post and my thoughts, but I’d love to know if there’s anything that you were able to resonate with.
I’d like to invite you to pause and take a little time off to journal these questions if you feel off balance or if things haven’t been going your way.
What’s the internal dialogue that’s going on in my mind?
Where is it coming from?
How can I reframe it to something that’s more optimistic and productive?
I hope this gives you a different perspective on why life has other plans and if these plans are in alignment with your story, beliefs, and mindset, and if not, what to do about it.
Thank you for reading!
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