I know pain. I know the way I attract it. The way it creeps into my life. The cause and effect of having pain in my life. Honestly? For a long time, I assumed that all I would have in my life would be tremendous pain, no happiness or peace. I was getting good at being normal with pain too, since it came to me so easily. I don’t think anyone understood what I was going through and I couldn’t explain either. I hated this feeling and felt so helpless because I couldn’t do anything about it. Even talking about this pain only made being in pain way too normal. It’s scary if you think about it. Believing in something so strongly. It took all of my strength to choose happiness instead of pain. Even today, I have to work on it, work on choosing happiness over pain. I guess that’s why I’m comfortable with the kind of work I do. Somewhere I feel as if I take away the pain of other people. It bothered me in my personal life but I learned how to balance it.
For me its pain, for others its insecurity, jealousy, anger, feeling of betrayal and hatred, fear, apathy, etc., I cannot tell you if it’s okay to have these feelings or no because its something you can channel in your life for something better, but I know its not very healthy to live your life in the same theme over and over. You can choose the theme of your life. You can choose how you want to feel and reach and attract. There’s no right or wrong here. It’s about choices. It honestly doesn’t work if you force yourself but it important to understand the theme of your life at least in the current situation so you’re aware of your next steps. In control of your emotions and feelings.
Change is scary. It’s like parting away from something you’re addicted to, especially if you’re not aware of it. I usually say that pain comes easily to me and that’s true but I poured all that into my work and I get to work with people who are dealing with so much pain. But I’ve also learned to say that happiness, peace and love comes easily to me too and I’ve seen the way my personal life has felt recently. It took all of my heart and soul to believe in it but it worked.
Someone asked me about the law of attraction and if it works. It works for sure but there is definitely a lot of work that goes into it. I don’t believe in “only good” or “only positive” its way too much pressure and way too much chaos but I do believe in mindful choices that are for your good.
Is it possible to stay always happy and always cheerful? I’m not so sure. Is it possible to stay in pain/anger/sadness forever? Probably not forever but it comes easily and goes after a lot of effort. Its not a fair equation that happiness requires effort and sadness comes easily but for some people that’s how it works. In my opinion it would be unhealthy to shut off these powerful emotions just because they disturb, it can be managed and understood. It’s a part of you and there’s nothing wrong with that.
I guess the problem arises when you allow these emotions to control you. When you feel as if there’s only negativity and you’re not capable or deserve to experience anything positive. When you start to question about all the good things you want or desire and start to feel hopeless and convince yourself that its never going to happen. That’s a sign that you need to pause and reflect.
I am not sure if everyone goes through this or only a certain few who’re openly vulnerable about their life events and situations. It’s not exactly a straight road. It’s challenging of course. But it’s like a sign that tells you how you’re living your life and the choices you’re making.
I know that its too much to fathom, it’s confusing and requires a lot of introspection but it’s worth it. So, take a moment to pause, sit quietly and ask yourself certain questions that will help you understand better.
Emotions that I am most drawn to in my life usually
Emotions that help me connect with other people
Emotions that terrify me
Events that feel repetitive
The kind of people I usually attract or connect with
The emotions I want to feel
The emotions/feelings that seem impossible in my life
If I had an option to change the way my life was written, how would I want it?
The feelings that are a part of me and why they’re so important to me
Thank you for stopping by! Hope this article gives you something to think about and I hope the journal prompts help you in some way or the other.