There’s a lot of pressure on positive thinking lately. With tools such as meditation, journaling, and positive self-talk, it has become easier to calm our minds and develop a more positive mindset. However, I think most of us have misunderstood this and started believing in the idea that we should have only positive thoughts. It’s inevitable to evade negative thoughts or thoughts that are unhealthy and cause distress.

As someone who overthinks a lot and constantly worries, I can understand the effect a troublesome thought can have not only on the mind but the way it can interfere with our daily activities. I’ve spent a lot of days worrying just because of a thought that refused to leave my mind. It would take over my day and mood, and I would feel heavy physically and emotionally.

Based on my experience, when we try to deny or run away from a negative thought we tend to add to our anxiety and stress. It usually helps when we understand that thought instead of just trying to get rid of it. I understand the need to want that thought to disappear and the need to feel calm instantly. When that constant unhealthy mind chatter happens, it can really cause a lot of emotional burnout.

When I would experience that kind of mind chatter, as an obvious solution, I would try to distract myself and try to do everything in my power to think positively but it would only cause further anxiety and I would land up feeling worse than I already was.

As a therapist, in my practice, I hear similar stories from my clients and how they feel when a thought tends to constantly bother them.

Thoughts by themselves are not positive or negative. Based on our mindset and perception we tend to label them as positive and negative. When a thought pops up in our mind our bodies tend to react a certain way that implies whether a thought is considered positive or negative. That leads to a lot of overthinking followed by worry and anxiety.

In this article, I wanted to share a few points that have always helped me calm and quiet the mind chatter if not completely take the thought away.

• Come face to face with the thought – I highly recommend that no matter how scary it gets, try to look at the thought and acknowledge its presence in the most loving way possible. When we avoid the thought and when we suppress the thought it gets bigger and bigger and even the things that are easy and happy start to feel unpleasant and cold. The more you accept the thought the easier it becomes to process the fear. When we have a thought that gets bigger, we tend to experience a lot of anxiety and nervousness, and overthinking increases. We start to assume the worst-case scenario and that can be extremely distressing. Even if it is for a couple of hours. When we accept the thought, our anxiety reduces physically. We tend to find better strategies that tend to help us think more pragmatically instead of emotionally.

  
  

Journal – What thought are you running away from? Why is this thought feeling bigger? What are you afraid of? What could this thought be telling you that makes you fear it?

• Detach yourself from the I – This is something I’ve tried a few times and it’s not my go-to approach however, it does help me from time to time. In this approach, I like to do instead of saying “I” I use my name and speak in the third person. Anytime I use “I” the thought and feeling become very intense and I feel cornered. It doesn’t help me with the already negative thought that I have. However, when I take my name, it helps me feel more empathetic and compassionate towards myself and even if it feels weird or uncomfortable at first it helps me detach from the feeling that this unhealthy thought brings.

  
  

Journal – (Your name) has this feeling because of this thought. (Your name) can now relax from this thought. How can (your name) feel more calm and secure from this thought? What is this thought trying to tell (your name)?

• Do a thought dump – Without any doubt, this approach always comes in handy. Whether I type on my phone in my notes or I write in an actual journal, doing a thought dump is always helpful. Even if it doesn’t solve my problem, I feel that because I’ve written it down it has left my body and therefore my mind even if momentarily. When I do a thought dump, I rarely think about how I write it down. I just let it all out without any judgement or criticism. Once I’ve written things down, I try to introspect and observe how I feel in my body. If I still feel some anxiety, nervousness, or distress, I continue writing. I’ve made thought dump a part of my evening routine anyway. I sleep a lot better once I do this and wake up feeling fresh.

  
  

Journal – On a page (phone or book) scribble down everything that comes to your mind. It doesn’t matter if you’re grammatically incorrect. If you’re writing more than one thought or if the thoughts don’t even make sense. It’s completely okay. Just write it all down. Let it all out on a page.

• Create something just for fun – Your mind needs something to think about and it usually listens to what you feed to it. Your mind can’t differentiate between good and bad. It only thinks and focuses on the thoughts that are a priority to you. When you allow your mind to focus on something else and make something else a priority it helps calm those annoyed nerves. I’ve learned that creating something helps as creativity helps increase our level of happiness and sometimes, we also experience mindfulness that always helps us stay calm.

  
  

Journal – On a page make a list of things you really feel you’d like to do more of. List your interests and hobbies and try to write how often you’d like to do them. If you’re feeling distressed try to work on one of those hobbies you’ve always wanted to do.

• Slow down your pace – If you’ve noticed, we tend to physically speed up when we’re anxious. We fidget, like oscillate, tap our legs and hands repeatedly, we walk faster, and do chores faster. I tend to experience an increase in my heartbeat and get goosebumps. I tend to walk faster and my body turns cold. I tend to drop things. Sometimes because my body reacts this way it helps me realize that I have a thought I’m ignoring and need to slow down. When we slow our pace physically, it helps with our anxiety and helps us understand the thought better.

  
  

Journal – How does your body react when you experience a distressing thought? Have you tried to slow down your pace? Have you felt differently once you’ve tried to slow down your pace and how has it affected your thought process?

• Prioritize your worry – Even if it is difficult, it’s sometimes important to understand what really requires your attention. And somehow in my opinion it helps to stay calmer and peaceful even when there’s a lot of noise in and around you. You may not be able to control and solve everything in your life and sometimes it’s okay to prioritize what worry requires your most attention and what worry can be archived for a later time. This is not a callous strategy but, in my opinion, and experience it’s a lot more mindful and practical.

  
  

Journal – What requires your full attention right now? What worry can be saved for later? What is your current worry expecting from you? How can you pay attention to this worry in a healthy way?

I’ve been working with people for over 10 years now and a constant issue for a lot of people is that they want to get rid of the noise and mind chatter. From my experience that may not happen overnight and I don’t support the idea of getting rid of something. I believe that once you actually understand it, you can compassionately reprioritize or archive it in your life.

I hope these approaches help you the next time you feel your mind is noisy and you need a little time off from your thoughts that cause you distress and anxiety.

Thank you for reading!

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