Counselling Psychologist & Mental Health Coach for Women

I have always dreaded this question. I’m one of those people who has never really bothered with plans. I’m sometimes not sure how the next 5 days of my life will go, let alone having the next 5 years of my life figured out. I’ve always mumbled and blurted out some answer that doesn’t make any sense if I’m asked about a 5 year or 10-year plan. You may be one of those who have their life completely figured out and somehow always known when you’d like to marry, have kids, start your business, make an investment etc., and I truly take a bow if you’re one of those people. I admire your presence of mind and respect the way you have everything so neatly organized. For a long time, I tried to be like the ones who have it all mapped out. Tried to make a plan and tried to go according to that plan but somehow could never follow it. Despite being a coach, I couldn’t really have a plan. Even if I did, I couldn’t make it work. Here’s something interesting to note I’ve always somehow known what I wanted to achieve and accomplish. Unlike a lost soul, wandering aimlessly, I’ve always had a clear direction in my life. I’ve always been aware of the kind of life and lifestyle I’ve wanted to adopt and live. And despite that, I’ll never be able to give you an idea about what the next 5 years of my life will look like. I’m one of those who tends to go with the flow. Of course, I’ve been judged for even saying that. I’ve also been perceived as someone who ‘is wasting her time’. It has never truly bothered me because I chose to live my life in a certain way. I chose to live my life on a day-to-day basis instead of neatly mapping it out. I want to pause and say that this kind of lifestyle has its own set of difficulties that tend to follow. There’s an uncertainty in my life that tends to scare me at times. Often times it leaves me wondering if I’m going in the right direction or if I’m just wasting the freedom I have. Fortunately for me, most of the time my uncertainty has helped me stay calm as I’m also a control freak. I’ve learned to make peace with allowing things to happen instead of making them happen. I’ve learned to befriend time instead of controlling it. So far, it has helped me with my anxiety and stays more at peace with myself. I’ve been one of those (humans) who has never really fit into the conventional box of life. I’ve never lived my life in a traditional way and for that, I’m truly grateful. Yet, I’ve known people who have chosen the conventional way of life and I haven’t judged them. There is a different kind of peace in going toward the more conventional play by play way of life. So, to sum it all up, yes, I do not and will not have a 5-year plan but I have a goal. I have a vision for my life. I’m enjoying and making the best of life has to offer. I’m trying to purposefully make sense of the freedom I’ve been given and the freedom I’ve chosen. I’m not oblivious to how our life is limited in many ways. I’m fully aware of the responsibilities that one needs to take to value life. But there are no set rules to these responsibilities. They’re subjective and customized according to each person’s philosophy and theme of life. If you’ve been juggling and going back and forth with the plans you’ve been trying to make. If you’ve been wondering why these plans haven’t worked for you, the way you want them to. Maybe it’s time to take a step back and evaluate. Maybe it’s completely okay to not have life fully mapped out. Maybe it’s okay to go with the flow. Take it one day/week at a time. Thank you for stopping by. I hope this helped you in some way. If you've had a similar experience or would like to share your thoughts on how this article helped you, I'd love to hear from you. Write to me at nikitavyas@outlook.in I'm usually on Instagram, so you can DM me too @nikitaavyas

What comes to your mind when I say 'Banana'? - For me, it's mostly a rich chocolate banana smoothie. I never imagined I'd associate banana with paper and stationary. Yep! You're not mistaken. I was so surprised and impressed to learn of such a delicious way to use stationary. I'd known Keshsa, long before her lovely brain child 'Ikksha' and it didn't come as a surprise to me that she would start a brand based on eco-friendly products, but banana fibre was definitely new to me. As someone who absolutely loves, adores and hoards stationary, especially journals, I fell in love with her work instantly. In this conversation, we learn a bit about Ikksha and the lovely Keshsa. Q - Hi, please tell us a little about yourself Hi, My name is Keshsa Vasant. I am a Digital Marketer by the day and a hustler and Mandala/dot painting artist by the night. I am the founder of Ikksha, an eco-conscious stationery brand making writing materials from plant fibers. My ultimate dream in life is to start a petting zoo. Q – Was it your dream to become and artist/an entrepreneur? People would always look up to my father because he was running a very successful IT company. My heart was always filled with pride every time someone appreciated the dedication, hard work and perseverance my father had for his business and for everything he has achieved. Naturally, everyone around me always asked if I would be an entrepreneur like him but I would politely decline and say “I want to be a vet. I love animals and hope to give back to these wonderful fur friends of ours in anyway I can” But I guess, the apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree huh. From dreaming to be a vet to starting business, my dreams have come a long way. I was raised around family members who were entrepreneurs. I have seen people start their business from ground up, grow them and eventually sell them. This helped my dream evolve and give me direction on what I wanted to do in the future. Q – Please tell us a little about Ikksha Ikksha was started with the aim to provide eco-friendly options to the stationery lover in us. Thus, we created writing supplies from BANANA PAPER. Wondering why banana paper? The production of banana paper when compared to wood paper has minimal impact on the environment since it does not use process chemicals and uses less energy during the production. Making the banana paper live longer, biodegradable and recyclable. Keeping this in mind, we made Ikksha au natural. To compliment the natural properties of the banana paper I used natural dyes, soy ink, coconut button bookmarks and banana fibre fastener to make the collection flawlessly natural. Not only are our journals pretty but they have pockets and pen holder loops to make it functional. Q – How did you come up with the name? Iksha means “Sight” in Sanskrit. When I was looking to start the stationery line, I wanted to have an Indian name for the brand. The idea behind wanting an Indian name was that when the brand went global, I would have the opportunity to share the rich culture of India. India is rich in history, designs and patterns with deep scientific meaning and Ikksha would be my platform to showcase it to the world.I am Proud to be an Indian. Journaling has many scientific benefits and one of it being it gives clarity to the mind. When people write down their thoughts, their mind clears and it gives them a certain direction and a vision to see life in a different way. Thus writing gives you a sight into the direction of life you can choose to take, in other words it gives you Ikksha. Q – Please tell us about your milestone journey, the hurdles etc? Ikksha has come a long way since it started. As an entrepreneur, there were several hurdles I had to overcome both mentally and externally in the initial days. To mention a few, as a young, small product brand it was very important for me was to gain the trust of the vendors before gaining the trust of the customers. It took time to build this relationship but this was very important since this would define the quality of products that I would offer. Apart from vendor relations, the other challenge was to build a team that aligned with my vision for the brand. The team makes or breaks the brand and so it was important I hire the right team. Mentally, as an entrepreneur self-doubt is inevitable, at least in the beginning. There were many days were I was demotivated and highly discouraged with what I was doing when something went wrong. But fortunately for me, I have the best team and some of the most amazing support systems around me that helped me during my lowest times. This helped me get back on my feet the next day. Milestones - Ikksha is now retailing in over 10 retailers around the globe and is growing. Q – How is “Ikksha” different from other brands available? Ikksha creates writing materials from 100% plant based materials. We use plant based fibers from cover to paper. Our entire current collection is made from Banana fibers. Apart from the paper, we use soy ink and avoid the use of chemicals in any form. Banana fibre is more sustainable We also wanted to make this basic everyday essential functional and so have added pockets, button fastener and pen loops in each book. Q – How would you describe your journey with Ikksha so far? Like all small business, Ikksha’s journey has been adventurous with a lot of ups and downs. However, at the end of the day I would say it has been a good journey so far. All the hard work and determination does pay off someday. There are times when I wish I could have done more but then there is today where I can do everything I could have done Q – What were some of the good and not so good advice that you received when you got started? Good Advise - Don’t make important decision when you are emotional. Don’t make any decision when you are happy, angry or sad, these might lead to decisions that you might regret in the future. Bad Advise - Be a 100% ready before you launch. The truth is you will never be a 100% ready ever. A business evolves with time, feedback and refinement. Unless you put yourself or the brand out there you will never know what is wrong or what is right. Q - If someone inspired by your story wanted a piece of advice from you what would you tell them? When there are times of self-doubt, think about the reason why you started the business in the first place. If you have a strong reason why you started the business, every doubt in the mind will go away. Second: There will be times which will demotivate you and pull your spirits down, don’t shy away from those feeling but embrace them. While embracing them, make note of why you are feeling them and understand how to handle them better in the future. Q – What are your future plans for Ikksha? I am hoping to launch more designs and stationery styles with banana fibers and other plant based fibers such as hemp, cactus, tea leaves etc. I am also hoping to take the brand global. Q - Do you believe in Dreams? Of course! Dreams is our way of imagining what our inner subconscious wants. Believe in them and it will turn to reality. You need to dream to even accomplish things. “To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream; not only plan, but also believe” - Antole France Q – Any further comments? Start journaling, it does help! Social Media/Website links Website: www.Ikksha.com Facebook/Instagram: @ikksha.in

I was taught that one should be happy with all that one has. They should find a way to be okay with what they get. I love this philosophy, honestly. It’s peaceful and I understand the reason why this kind of thinking is advised. I practice gratitude pretty much every day. I know how satisfying it feels when we express our thanks for the things we already have. But what if there’s a small thin hairlike difference between feeling grateful and compromising? I’ve been asked many times, ‘If we feel so grateful why are we then not okay with compromising?’ ‘If I have to compromise, how can I feel grateful?’ These questions are important and somewhere necessary to discuss and ask especially in today’s times when positivity has become a necessity. If you go online and search “All or Nothing thinking” you’ll come across articles where this kind of thinking is often shown in a negative way or way that feels ‘wrong’. Ideally what this thinking states are that we live our life based on extreme thinking, kind of like being adamant. More of a ‘downside to any situation’ kind of thinking. Polarized thinking or extreme thinking or all or nothing thinking is known to cause anxiety and feelings of overwhelm in a person. But this is a very generalized way of looking at this kind of thinking in my opinion. Of course, you may not agree but try to keep an open mind with this. I’d grown up believing that compromise is a fact that one needs to accept almost nonchalantly. Being Okay with things should come naturally. I’d been told that compromise is a part of life. It’s uncontrollable and unchangeable. I’d been told that compromising is brave and courageous. I witnessed people make decisions and choices based on this philosophy and even though they seemed okay they never seemed happy or pleased to me. They always seemed defeated and I could see their shoulders droop in exhaustion. I always felt that this was because they fought and now, they’ve reached a stage of compromise, the reason they appear exhausted is from fighting, but truth be told or rather the truth I learned much later is their exhaustion really came from the feeling of losing, from feeling defeated. This reality hit me from my own personal experience and this reality hit me really hard. After years of working with women, I’ve realized that your philosophy should be custom made. It should be framed according to your personality, your goals, your dreams, your values, your boundaries. In my experience, because of having a mindset that is all or nothing – I’ve become ambitious I’ve learnt to say no I’ve worked hard for what I truly want I’ve been able to choose "me" overall I’ve come out of depression and anxiety I’ve been able to choose Quality over all else I’ve become more confident I’ve taken decisions that may not be easy but effective in the long run I think when it comes to something this ambiguous one shouldn’t doubt their own way of life. This is something I tell all my clients, to try and stay detached from – shoulding, judging, doubting their way of thinking but try and make it work for them in one or more areas of their life. To understand the all or nothing thinking try to understand your – Values that you make for your life Boundaries you draw for yourself The way you communicate with yourself There is a minuscule difference between all or nothing kind of thinking and adamant or stubborn way of thinking, what is ideally called ‘my way or the highway’ Polarized thinking is slightly different than that.

Coffee is the reason I happened to come across Atul's work and I absolutely almost instantly admired his work. Also he is easily one of the kindest and sweetest people I've come across on IG. I realized I loved and connected with the vibe of every picture on his page. It reminds me how to pause, enjoy the moment, take in everything around me. I wanted to know more about his work. When I started working on the second season of my interview series, I hoped to also include Atul's story. Not only did he instantly agree, I'm starting the series with his story! What I learned from Atul's story is when you have focus there is no place for fear. Focus guides you and motivates you and encourages you to evolve, get better. It paves way to explore your passion and leads to opportunities and possibilities. When you love everything about what you do, hurdles don't seem to matter much. His story motivated me to proper my focus on what I really want to do and keep at it. I hope his story inspires you on your journey. P.S - If you love coffee, you'll absolutely love his work! Q - Hi, please tell us a little bit about yourself Hi Nikita! To begin - my name is Atul :) Based in Bangalore at the moment - I primarily work in marketing and help build brands via their online spaces using my skillset in photography and my ability to story tell and connect with a crowd to help build a community. Came to Bangalore about 4 years back to do my studies and now this city has become home. Q - Was it always your dream to become an artist, if not how did you made the choice? I've always been a creative person growing up - never intentionally thought of becoming an artist per se, but it's always been quite natural and eventually due my varied interests in a lot of things - I picked up photography and found a liking for it merely through my smartphone in the beginning, this is about 6 years back now. Photography or Videography or the act of documenting has become secondary to the person I am today - but more than photography, it's the ability to sort of convey my other interests that I'm truly passionate about through photography as a medium that excites me and enables me to keep documenting. Q - who or what was your inspiration? Not sure about inspiration exactly but someone that's helped me a lot has been this entrepreneur named Garyvee - I owe a lot to him and his approach - he's instilled a lot of self-awareness, empathy, patience, work ethic and just respect for everything in generally into me. I still continue to consume his content and have been for the last 5-6 years at this point. Q - Please tell us about your milestone journey, especially the difficulty you faced? I've been fortunate and blessed not to have faced a lot of difficulties - academically in its very stereotypical sense is one area I've struggled with growing up - I was raised in the UAE and was there for about 17 years, the transition to India happened in 2015 or so and that was primarily to redo my 11th-12th grade 😅 and then came about college, where I eventually dropped out - I did about 3 years but I was done with it after my first semester. So there were bumps and struggles with that but hindsight I'm so grateful for everything that's happened which has shaped so much of the person I am today. Q - As an artist, what is your process like? How do you prefer to work? What projects/subjects are your favourite? At any given point - I'm working with about 3-5 people or projects, it becomes very important for me to become personal with the project - understand the different nuances involved with the what, the why, for who and break it down so that the end consumer understands what's happening and what value we're adding to their lives, so taking my time to understand the client is of priority, which is the function. It is then followed by the form which is in the form of photography. I don't constrain myself to a particular subject - love working with anything and everything, but I do enjoy work revolving around food the most! Q - What was the best and the worst advice you received when you started your career? Best advice has to be several from Garyvee - the one that comes to the top of my head is "Micro speed, Macro patience" - which essentially translates into giving your best everyday and going at it to your best ability on that given day and then think about it from a broader perspective and be patient about the long term, The other good one is - Quality leads to quantity, often times in the pursuit of quality over quantity - artists restrict themselves in the disguise of perfection (which isn't a real thing) So yes similar to practice makes perfect I guess :) Worst advice - well there's plenty. 😂 Nothing worth remembering 😅 Q - At this point in your career, are you happy? Very very happy - always been, by God's grace. Hopefully this is for the long run. Q – What are your future plans regarding to work? I've got a bunch of things down the pipeline revolving around investing time into myself and my own brand, but for now the complete focus is on clients and work at hand - who knows what the world has to offer tomorrow, I have my plan but I guess it'll be situational and contextual to what the world is tomorrow. Q - If someone read your story and wanted to follow your footsteps being inspired by it, what advice would you give them? Dabble with everything you think you like doing, through which you figure what you enjoy the most. Don't judge yourself too much, but be accountable and responsible. Be consistent, that'll take you the furthest. Q - Do you believe in dreams? Absolutely, every single day. Keeps things exciting that way :) You can view more of Atul's work on - Instagram - @atulpinheiro

I wanted to scream but couldn’t seem to find my voice. I was dealing with a lot emotionally and instead of trying to fight or solve or manage my problems, I realized I was just really tired. I was beyond exhausted, not in the physical way but just mentally. I didn’t want to think a lot, didn’t want to feel, didn’t want to listen or talk. I wanted to switch off. I wanted to take off. Somewhere peaceful, alone and distant. I was doing okay considering my life in general, there wasn’t anything particularly wrong with me or my life. But there was a disconnect. I could sense it. The things that made me smile, no longer did. The things that gave me peace, made me anxious. I got really tired of the routine and monotony of daily life, not that there was something wrong with it, I simply didn’t feel it was worth anything at all. At this point I should mention that I wasn’t going through depression or otherwise usually mistaken “mood swings” or “PMS”. It wasn’t stoicism as well. This was a disconnect. More like things were happening to me and I was getting swept away. There wasn’t any control over my mind or body. If there was it wasn't by me. As someone who always likes to take charge, I wasn’t okay with this. I kept pushing myself to keep going, day after day. Pretending as if everything is okay and everything is in charge. At first, I assumed it was working. I assumed I’d managed to trick my mind and body to believe that I was in charge and everything was just okay. It blew up in my face, soon thereafter! I found myself even more sucked into this feeling than I did before. I experienced a lot of body pain, headaches, felt very nauseated too. Uncontrollable crying and overthinking. But I couldn’t really figure out what was wrong. I couldn’t really understand why this was happening. I didn't think anything was missing in my life. My work was flourishing, I had something to look forward to daily. Despite that, I felt this disconnect. I realized after a while that trying to figure out the “why’ wasn’t going to help, I needed to figure out “how” to manage this challenge. I somehow understood that if there was a disconnect, I needed to find a connect. I needed to find out how to reconnect. This felt quite challenging when I thought about it. I was clueless. I wasn’t sure how to find this connect. There’s a term I’m fairly acquainted with, it’s called – Grounding. While learning reiki and crystal healing I’d come cross this word quite often but never fully grasped the concept. I went back to understand this concept now, as was the requirement. Ideally, grounding or being grounded means being present with your body and staying connected to the earth. Like a tree that’s fixed on the earth does. It calmly deals with all kinds of weather without losing its balance and ground. Being grounded also means that you’re not easily influenced by unfortunate and unforeseeable circumstances or situations. I’ve never felt comfortable with the word ‘balance’. It’s always made me feel as if it was forced on me. As someone who lives her life on extremes most of the times, this word always annoyed me. Now I had to no option but to find a way to this balance. But I wanted to do it in a manner that felt comfortable to me and would be an ideal solution for me. Emotionally I knew I couldn’t do much. I was in no position to. What made sense and felt practical was to try to do something that was more physical. Feet on the ground – Believe it or not, I started with something as basic as this. I felt given that grounding was connecting with the earth, what better way to do it than this? Every morning before waking up, I put my feet firmly on the ground for about 5 minutes. Closed my eyes and tried to feel the way the earth felt below my feet. It wasn’t a profound feeling at first but slowly day after day it made me more focused. I can’t explain how that happened but I started feeling more aware of how I felt even if for a sort while. It felt as if the earth was preparing me for the day ahead. Don’t knock it till you try it, trust me, as ambiguous as it sounds, it helped me a great deal. Spending time in Nature – I live in Chennai. The beaches of Chennai are quite beautiful and I felt very fortunate to be able to actually hear the sound of waves from the ocean than an app. So, I started going to the beach as often as I could. The entire experience made me feel alive. Like there was so much I needed to do and accomplish. Every time I went to the beach, I felt a connection to life. I think nature does that to you. Stretch – I swear I absolutely disliked this but I knew this was non-negotiable. I had to physically move and start a workout, just so there could be an even flow of energy in my body. It would also help with the body pain I was going through due to all the stiffness and lack of physical activity. I think our bodies tend to block the free flow of energy if it is not nurtured properly and that can cause harm not just physically but also emotionally and mentally. Change of routine – Change, any kind of change brings newness, this newness helps to reconnect with curiosity and we tend to look forward to the experience. It helps us feel certain again. I decided to bring a change in my routine. Since my work always allows me the freedom of time, I decided to make use of that. It worked quite beautifully for me. As predicted, I felt more certain about my day-to-day life. I slept better, worked better and eventually felt better. Instead of diving in and trying out everything, I stuck with these 4 methods for a long time. I wasn’t looking forward to meditation in order to find the balance. In that moment, I knew it wouldn’t work. I needed something more tangible in a sense. Something more visible. Of course, meditation helps a great deal but the disconnect in me was too intense and I couldn’t find myself to simply sit and breathe. I do feel a disconnect every now and then. I’ve come to realize it’s quite common among introverts and highly sensitive people, to feel this disconnect. I swear by these methods each time. It’s slow, unconventional too perhaps, but it usually helps me. I hope this article and these methods help you too. If you’ve tried them out, share your experience with me. Thank you for stopping by.

Imagine this, you’ve suddenly stopped moving, everything is in this stop mode, like you’re in a small box. You can’t move. Can’t find a way out. Can’t seem to see any way out. You can’t be rescued. After a while, you stop trying – There’s no hope! Have you been through this? Have you heard someone say this? “No matter what I do I’m going to always face defeat, I’m going to never find happiness, I’m not born for it. I’m cursed. Nothing good is ever going to happen in my life. I don’t want to try anymore. I’m doomed, I’m finished.” – I hear these words so many times, and from so many people. Despite their circumstances being different and their stories being totally apart from one another, no matter how often I listen to them, they’re never easy to process. It’s painful to see someone give up hope and give up trying. It’s painful to see them so distraught that they feel they deserve this. They deserve to stay in that box, that hopelessness, that this darkness is all that’s left in their life. The most important question to ask is this – Does this happen intentionally? Do they do this on purpose? Are they just losers? Do they pretend or fake it? There is a concept in Psychology called – “Learned Helplessness” – typically it means that when a person keeps on facing adverse situations usually beyond their control, they stop trying to escape it and accept the helpless situation, believing that this can’t be changed. This can happen due to lack of motivation and very low self-esteem. To feel this way is not in their control. There is no pretense. However, this can be changed. Without hope, without motivation, movement is almost close to impossible because, how does it matter? Why bother when anyway this is not going to work? Why bother when no one is going to understand? – nothing you do will make any kind of a difference. You don’t want to risk further pain or disappointment so you don’t even try. If you don’t have faith your outcome will result in doom. Thus, proving your point that whatever you do – it doesn’t matter. Speaking from personal experience I’ve been in that place. Where I felt so stuck that I didn’t think there was a way out of this. I couldn’t move and spent almost all my time either sleeping or crying. I couldn’t really see a way out of things. Everything felt pointless to a point where my education didn’t seem to matter, nor did my life. I started to feel that my existence is pointless. ‘People will be happier in their lives, if I am not around, so why bother talking?’ What really gave me hope was – Movement! Literal movement! I forced myself to move, indulge in some physical workout. And then, things started making more sense. It wasn’t easy and it took a lot of effort. I gave up so many times but something in me decided to keep at it. So, I did. This is how I found my hope. Move your body - It helps! It can regulate your mood. Balance your energies. Our bodies have a lot of goodness locked in, movement frees that goodness and gives it a good cleanse. This helps us feel lighter and happier. Any form of movement, even walking helps. Create a Routine – Start with small tasks. Make the bed. Breathe. Make your tea/coffee. Try to work on small chores. If you’re working, try to include small breaks. Add new things to your daily routine. Add a skin care routine. Having a routine can help you look forward to something every day. It doesn’t matter how productive the routine appears to you. The idea is to have a routine that is regular. Learn something new – Curiosity is always a great motivating factor in our lives. The more your mind learns new and different things the more your mindset tends to change. There is some kind of freedom that you feel. It doesn’t matter if you excel at what you learn but the idea of learning brings in newness. This newness brings a lot of hope. Meet people from different walks of life – Is there someone you know who is doing something incredibly amazing? Get in touch with them. Meet them. Talk to them. People have the potential to inspire. They can motivate you to change your life and at least think in a certain way that is different. Take up a personal project/assignment – I highly recommend this. Give yourself a project that may interest you and if possible, fuel your passion. A small project, doesn’t need to be for monetary purpose. Something that will keep you engaged and busy. This was something that gave me a lot of hope and helped me come out of my helplessness. I had taken up a project that then also gave me hope to indulge in my creativity. The only thing that truly gave me hope was taking action. Even if I failed, even if I made mistakes, even if I couldn’t see the point of doing it in the first place. Taking action, even if silly, gave me a lot of hope. It helped changed my mindset, helped in my confidence, helped me see many possibilities and helped me attract opportunities too. But more than anything I had to mindfully do some positive self-talk, learn to appreciate myself, learn to respect myself. What made me lose hope, what made me feel so low didn’t really matter, all that mattered was how I was going to come out of this. Take it slow, take it one day at a time, be kind with yourself… This is not your fault, but you can change. This is not how your story goes.

(Messages for - 15/07/21) Every idea is a call for possibility and excitement. We're all extremely creative, no matter the kind of work we do. Every day we take actions that are creative in some way. A new idea, a new approach, a new mindset - all, is motivated by creativity. With the help of Tarot Cards I've picked out and inferred these messages for your creative blockages. I hope these messages today help you introspect. Even though they are dated, you maybe able to relate to them anytime you open this post. The messages here are based on the sun sign, but, they are not predictions. They are messages. Reflect on the message you receive. Journal or mediate on it. Look at them only as a way to guide and not as the final answer to something. If you can't connect with them completely, it's totally okay. Aries - Creativity or passion doesn't pay well with domination or too much ruthlessness in the mix. We can get swept away and mistake ruthlessness for passion. Every reaction then can be too intense or too emotional which can create a lot of blockages. Is there a way you can create a boundary between you and intense passion and energy? Is it possible for you to pause and think before you react? Taurus - When we look at the meaning of success from someone else's point of view, your progress may never feel okay or enough or worth appreciating. We add a lot of pressure on our self and slowly replace our version of success with that of someone else's. If you've been feeling the urge to compare your progress or journey with someone else's, what do you think it means? If you feel left behind, take a moment to understand what about it truly bothers you? Gemini - It is always a good thing to take things the way they come. We find comfort in the realization that everything happens for a reason. We also understand the difference that pulling back may not be the same as giving up. Is there another way to think about this for you? Is it possible for you to find support? How can you make the best of the comforts that surround you? Cancer - When we realize that there is a hesitation in receiving from our end chances are we may create blockages without really knowing about it. Even though we may expect to receive the best, we also need to make space for it in our lives. Is it possible that you've been holding onto a past pattern or guilt or reservations regarding something? Are you worried about being judged or critiqued too harshly? Leo - When we confuse ourselves with too many choices, chances are we end up feeling exhausted. We also go through unnecessary pressure and sometimes feel extremely overwhelmed. Sometimes we encourage choices because we are too afraid to make a choice we know may hurt us. Is there a way to understand these consequences you are so afraid of? Is it possible that what you fear may not even be true? What have you been avoiding? Virgo - Competition is a call to awareness. We envy someone because we lack that in our life. Sometimes we can go overboard in order to prove someone our worth. We assume this to also be a victory for us, which may not be completely true. When you feel like proving your worth to someone what do you think is happening? What is the message you're receiving? What can you do to find the balance between proving and expressing yourself? Libra - We like to do certain things our way and sometimes it may not be conventional. It is perfectly okay to bend the rules and some where prefer our own rules. But it is also okay to respect certain suggestions made by others. Is there a way to make room for a little flexibility? Is there a way you can detach yourself from your work and look at it objectively? Is it possible to wok on your confidence to say what you really feel? Scorpio - There are no short-cuts to success or no easy way out. Sometime we need to go through a lot of pain and setbacks in order to reach a certain place. We also need to understand that pain and suffering doesn't have to be a pattern or the philosophy of our life. How do you think criticism helps you in your growth? How can put yourself forward in order to understand your own capacity and ability? Is hiding really the best strategy? Sagittarius - Despite having incredible passion, ideas and creativity we can feel lost and have no idea how to move. Our next step may feel very foggy and may leave us confused and also unhappy to an extent. We may make excuses to cover up the chaos we feel. Is there a way to re-direct and align your goals? What is your intention toward your venture, why is it so important to you? If you've been procrastinating or making excuses, why is that? Capricorn - Changes can take us by sheer surprise and most of the time we aren't prepared for it. But we assume that if something has changed, it must mean that something bad will happen. but what if something good happens? Changes can help bring newness in our lives. How can you stay calm with all these sudden changes in your life? How do you think you can go with flow? How can you find a way to befriend all that the changes bring? Aquarius - It is okay to love and part ways with it. We maybe hurt initially but it doesn't mean we can't cherish the good times. Holding onto something that is not really helping in our growth anymore may not be a good thing. It's okay to let it go instead of exhausting yourself. Is there something you know you love but need to let go of? Why do you think you've been holding on to it? How much of a difference will it make in your life if you part ways with this? Pisces - Creativity sometimes is also about nurturing our inner child. It helps to allow our inner child to grow in a way it couldn't when we were kids. It is okay if this creativity and the passion we have for something is not understood by others. How can you further nurture your passion? How can you be more kind to your creative self? Is there a way to share this in a collaborative manner with others who share your passion? Please Note - These are generalized on the sun signs, therefore it is possible that they may not speak to you in a direct manner. If you're interested in a personalized reading, kindly get in touch with me or take a look at the details here. If you'd like to share something regarding your message, feel free to DM me on Instagram.

(Messages for - 14/7/21) Every day brings a lot of challenges, hopes, setbacks, opportunities - all the same. The graph is rarely linear but we tend to look at all that is unfortunate or negative and all that causes chaos and confusion. Sometimes it is important to look within our inner thoughts, mindset, belief. This gives us an opportunity to get clarity and relax. With the help of Tarot Cards I've picked out and inferred these messages for your focus and some hope. I hope these messages today help you introspect. Even though they are dated, you maybe able to relate to them anytime you open this post. The messages here are based on the sun sign, but, they are not predictions. They are messages. Reflect on the message you receive. Journal or mediate on it. Look at them only as a way to guide and not as the final answer to something. If you can't connect with them completely, it's totally okay. Aries - When the stress gets too much to deal with, things start to seem hopeless and somehow we feel as if nothing will ever go the way we want. We start to overthink and feel victimized too. In such a state, the best thing to do is call out on this feeling of paranoia and state the facts. In what way can you remain a bit more objective towards this burden you've been dealing with? Has this got to do with the past? Taurus - Whether it's work or life, when it comes to making a choice and taking action, have you been putting things off only to now to feel as if time is running out? Some times we forget that fear is one of the reasons we tend to procrastinate, not take appropriate timely action and when things seem to fall apart, we worry and feel anxious. In what way can you face this fear right now? In what way can you make a choice? Gemini - Even in the most difficult and painful situations, we tend to find hope. Challenges tend to shape us and every scar is a reminder of how far we've come. When dealing with a painful situation, what if you looked within you instead of outside of you, for that motivation and strength? What if you have all the answers that you're looking for? In what way can you show a little faith in your own self? Cancer - There comes a time in our lives when things seem to be moving at a good pace. There is a lot of good energy. we somehow find the resources we're looking for. Everything seems to be working out in that phase of energy. In such a time how can you make the best of this energy? How can you also balance rest and action at the same time? What opportunities are you looking for? Does this energy or phase scare you? Leo - When two people come closer, whether professionally or romantically or as friends, there is a connection between them. Something that has caused this connect. For this partnership to continue, focus on that point of connection. In what way can you better your communication with each other? In what way can you express their importance in your life at this moment? What does this partnership mean to you? Virgo - Sometimes it is easier to simply live life and enjoy the pleasures of it without having any expectations. Sometimes it is easier to be vulnerable without worrying about how others may perceive us. Sometimes it feels so much easier to stay away from conflict and focus on all that gives peace. In what way can you live your life the way you want? What are you truly grateful for in your life? How can you appreciate yourself a little more each day? Libra - The things we constantly think about, are very important and not to be taken lightly. They help manifest and in attracting better opportunities. Whatever you think and believe will reflect in your life. How can you make use of your thoughts to work in your favour? How can you call out on your own negative self-talk? How can you re-frame the beliefs that no longer help you? Scorpio - Winning is different from feeling truly victorious. Winning can sometimes bear an association with aggression and fear but victory leans towards hard-work and growth. Winning is short-lived and victory is cherished for a longer time. Even though they mean one and the same thing, they are perceived differently. Do you need someone else to lose in order to win? Do you look for the highest good of everyone and not just yourself? Are you hurting someone in the process? Sagittarius - When you truly are happy, you don't worry so much. Even if this happiness lasts for a minute, a few hours, a few days, it doesn't matter - cherish this happiness. Happiness is also requires work and effort from our side. It may not last as long as we hoped but this happiness bears a sign of newness and goodness. What new things are you looking forward to? What usually uplifts your mood? Capricorn - Organization sometimes is not easy. Sometimes everything feels chaotic and messy. In such moments we tend to rely on our comfort zone, all the while battling with our confidence and worthiness. Shutting down feels like a better option. In what way can you take a break from everything and detox? What does your self-care routine look like? What do you think will help you get back to feeling more organized and in charge? Aquarius - Peace is what we make of it. Sometimes we find it even in the most uncomfortable places and other times even when surrounded by luxury we may never feel that peace. Pressure in many ways in responsible for ruining our peace of mind. In what way do you think you're leaning toward pressure? What is the price that you're truly paying for success? How can you bring in a little peace in your life everyday? Pisces - We are conditioned to assume the worst when faced with difficulties and setbacks. This conditioning causes unnecessary pain, fear and may even bring up past trauma. Instead of facing this mindset we tend to suppress it and ignore our intuition. All that you've been thinking, is it factual or your assumption? What emotions have you been holding onto? In what way are you perceiving the world right now?

I think in many ways we are conditioned to spend an enormous amount of time, trying to please people. We have been auto-tuned to feel responsible for the likes of others and this leads to a lot of unnecessary burden. Trying to impress people, never making a mistake, always being guarded, always being in control, assuming that you need to have it together all the time. And the sad thing is that we have easily normalized this conditioning by using terms like ‘professionalism’ or ‘being professional’. I’m not very convinced that this ‘professionalism’ is in any way helpful. I work with extremely creative women. Women who are business owners and creative at what they do but also women who are artists. Sometimes I see so many creatives being swept away in the rut of trying to impress their audience/customers/clients that they forget to enjoy the freedom and satisfaction their work gives them. Even as I write this article, my inner critical voice is constantly asking me, ‘you think they’ll like this? Are you even making sense? Do they even want to know about this?’ After a while it gets really irksome, intolerable and eventually there’s a strong urge to quit. This pattern, I gather is not anyway from the outside world, but from the pressure we constantly out on ourselves. I’ve never been comfortable with perfection. But I’ve experienced the pressure first hand. I have forced myself to scrutinize my work so much that I’ve lived in constant self-doubt for the longest time. Sometimes, I still do. As an introvert the notion of making mistake is not very easily taken. It becomes personal. It becomes really challenging to ‘get over it’. Most introverts have this fear of making a fool of themselves, saying the wrong thing, as normal as it is for an introvert to feel this way, it also steals a lot from them. If you’re an introvert or a creative, can you think of all the ways you put pressure on yourself – socially, professionally, relationships? Pause, fetch a paper, pen and actually make your list. The intention of this article is not to tell you that you need to work on your perfectionism or that you shouldn't care about what others think. This is article is to remind you that - It’s okay to slip up every once in a while. It’s okay to trust the wrong person It’s okay if you couldn’t make that sale It’s okay if you’re not a crowd pleaser It’s okay if you’re a serious person It’s okay if you couldn’t do it on time It’s okay if you’re not always put together It’s okay if you don’t use an iPhone/Mac (Seriously, grow up!) It’s okay of your messy bun is a little too messy It’s okay of you put your feet up at a café/theatre/car (No, seriously, it’s apparently a big deal) It’s okay if you say the wrong thing It’s okay if you reply instantly, It’s okay if you take your time It’s okay of SM is your thing, also it’s okay if it’s not It’s okay if you were the one to initiate a fight (Sometimes you can’t take it) It’s okay to drunk dial your ex or drunk text your ex (I mean, yea... it really is okay) It’s okay of you don’t have your own business and work for someone (please highlight this!) It’s okay if you don’t think you can work for someone and start your own thing It’s okay to stand up for yourself It’s okay to preserve your energy and be quiet It’s okay if you leave your cushy job and venture into something that has your heart It’s okay of you studied medicine and now are an extremely talent artist It’s okay to have a hobby and not really earn from it It’s okay if you are religious/atheist/spiritual It’s okay to dream and still wait to go and achieve it. I think I can keep going on and on and on. The more I think about it, the more I’ve realized that the people who truly respect you and your work, don’t need to be impressed all the time (read: at all, never) The people who appreciate you have a subtle way of even critiquing your work or you. I have been given a really hard time (somehow, I perceived it to be true as well) about parallelly using breath-work, tarot and coaching as my services. I was often made fun of reading Tarot Cards and felt confused regarding being a psychologist as well as a Tarot reader. I need to constantly remind myself that my services are not for everyone but for those who really need it. When you constantly pay attention to how others see you (read: perceive, judge, categorize) that’s when the pressure starts building up. That’s when you start to label, compare, demotivate yourself to an unnecessary extent. This is not only limited to work, but socially as well Body Shaming Single even after 30 Not interested in Parenthood/Motherhood Divorce Big Wedding/Small Wedding (as lame as it sounds, it is a big deal) Being open about sex, periods, live-in (Yes, still!) When you find yourself mostly (note – may not be all the time, but, more often) saying, “I Have to...” instead of “I want to…” that’s when you need to really pause and question yourself.

Digital wellness refers to the state of one’s mental and physical health in a digital age. During the pandemic the world connected, survived and healed via technology and all the benefits that come with it. It’s safe to say that being in a digital world has now become more than a luxury. It’s a necessity. One cannot imagine going about their day without using their smartphone. There is a dependency attached to it that is easily available. Looking at how this digital age is just getting started, it’s safe to assume it’s not going anywhere. Therefore, we need to take preventive measures to try and balance the use instead of calling it harmful and hoping to get rid of it. We can take small measures such as, taking a digital break over the weekend where for a big amount of time instead of binge watching something you may want to read or make something even. Away from the screen. Give yourself 60 to 90 minutes of break each day and stay away from the screen, this can be substituted with family time or listening to music etc., Use blue light if you’re working for longer hours. Ideally being too addictive to the SM apps is due to loneliness, anxiety or even FOMO. It wouldn’t be impossible to schedule set time to visit SM. Monitoring the time will help. If you have a tablet, you can switch all the apps from your phone to your tab and keep the tab in a different room to avoid temptation. Instead of chatting which can go on and on, pick up the phone and call and talk. Include more if not equal amount of time for walks, meditation, hobbies, spending time with family etc., It would be ingenuous to say that being in a digital age is bad. One needs to learn how to take charge and make it work for them rather than feeling totally helpless about it. (Wrote this piece of advice for DTNext - https://www.dtnext.in/Lifestyle/LifeStyleTopNews/2021/07/03010950/1304529/Digital-detox-social-media-breaks-are-important-for-.vpf)