Counselling Psychologist & Mental Health Coach for Women

It may be impractical to have control and take charge of your life through and through but it may not be completely impossible. Sometimes it’s important to know the difference between giving up and losing hope. “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.” This quote has stuck with me for a very long time. It has always reminded me that while I may not be able to control everything in my life. I can definitely take charge of most things. There are certain areas of our lives where we can’t have everything go according to what we want. But it doesn’t reflect for all and every area of our life. I’ve worked with many clients who’ve come to me when they’ve lost hope and nothing seems to be going well in their life. When they’ve lost control over their own ideas and plans and no longer feel in charge. I’ve been there and I know how frustrating it can get. When everything seems to be slipping away and the only thing that feels good is to stop and stay fixed. Not move at all. It’s never easy to go back to holding the wheel of your life again, but it’s never impossible. Here’s what you need to remember to make things happen in your life. Know what you want Make a list of what you really want. Don’t bother yourself with how practical or impractical it feels. Write everything that comes to your mind. Categorize it into the areas of your life so it looks more organized. At this moment don’t waste your time mulling over how you’ll receive all this, at this moment just write it. Becoming aware of all that you want right now can help you gather your thoughts and help you understand better. Maybe you want to attract a partner, maybe you want to get paid better, maybe you want to travel again. Focus on what you want and not what is expected of you or what is given to you. Control vs Practical Once a certain awareness is reached, you’ll need to make a list of all that is in your control and all that is not in your control. You may want an increased salary right now to sustain yourself but it may not be in your control due to the involvement of other people. But making travel plans is in your control but you need to be practical about it. This approach will help you understand all that you can take charge of easily. While you may not be able to make somebody fall in love with you, you can understand the kind of person you wish to attract in your life. Keep showing up in your life Practice is the only way you can stay in charge of your life. Don’t worry if you fail. Setbacks are inevitable. Keep showing up and keep trying. Do all that you can do practically instead of obsessing over things that cannot be in your control. Go with the flow of how things unfold in your life. Breathe and relax. Accept detours and distractions. Have a mindset that can help you grow and progress. Accept what you can’t change You will fail occasionally and things may not go the way you hoped. Instead of wasting your energy on things that you can’t really do anything about focus on what is workable and can be changed. Your habits? Your beliefs? You Mindset? The excuses you make? Work on the changes that are possible instead of obsessing over things that you know may not change. Trust the timing Making things happen is never an easy task and may need a lot of patience and perseverance. Sometimes that best thing to do is wait and stay focused on all that you’ve been hoping to achieve. Like they say, “sometimes not doing anything is the best strategy”. Trust the timing of your life. Trust that things will unfold when you are ready to receive them. These few points will help you stay focused. However, the approach, application and outcome will differ from person to person and the area you wish to work on. If you wish to make things happen in a relationship or when other people are involved things may not be very linear and easy but if you’d like to make things happen in your personal life with yourself, it may not be as tough. The key words to remember to make things happen are – Clarity, Intention and Patience.

“fill your paper with the breathings of your heart”. – William Wordsworth Before you read any further, I want you to do something. Pause, grab a pen and paper, be seated in a comfortable position, take a deep breath and, on that paper, I’d like you to ‘just write’. It doesn’t need to make sense, it doesn’t to be perfect, just write all that comes to your mind. Even if it looks gibberish or feels funny/awkward, just write. Try doing this for a good 2/3 minutes and get back to the article. How did this feel? How was your experience? I’m going to tell you about some of the responses that my clients have given me during sessions, anytime I’ve asked them to try this activity - “I felt really light” “I’ve no idea what s**t I’ve written but feels so light” “I couldn’t write a lot felt very awkward but I liked the process of writing, will try again” “I want to cry now. I feel so emotional” “I think I’ve let go of that anger I was holding on to” “I Love this! I’m going to do it again” And plenty more similar responses… If you’re new to the world of journaling I get how slow, boring or unadventurous this whole process can look to you but, what most people don’t get about journaling is that – It’s a tool to help you align and understand your thoughts, feelings, emotions, goals and dare I say your life too. If you’re a skeptical, I assume you’re curious to know how randomly writing will help you align your thoughts and your life. It’s not uncommon for most to be hesitant to begin journaling, simply because they are unaware of the many benefits of actually putting pen to paper and expressing your thoughts, feelings and ideas. Journaling is pretty much like having a heartfelt conversation with yourself - “it is like whispering to oneself and listening at the same time” said Mina Murray. You don’t need to be good at it or be a writer to journal, you need to be willing to open your heart and pour your feelings out. Here are 8 reasons why Journaling is such a powerful tool – Sense of release – This is the most common reason for people to journal. We’ve got so many thoughts and feelings we’d like to say and talk about but we’re afraid of expressing. Your journal is a safe space to actually let things out without worrying of being judged or justifying. This is also a great way to get a release from all the pent-up anger and emotions that you cannot otherwise express. Clarity and Insight – I’ve always believed that we’ve got the answers to all our questions and doubts. All we need is some clarity and insight. When we write consistently our thoughts and beliefs are all available for us to understand on paper. It’s like a blue print. In those pages and words, you’ll find a theme that tends to speak to you. It’s repetitive and on similar lines. These themes tend to give us clarity and insight. Inspires Creativity – Journaling can be done via sketching, painting, writing poetry, designing, narrating, collaging even. I’ve come across many people who weren’t comfortable in writing their feelings but expressing them through different mediums. Many artists have found their inspiration through journaling. Many have become artists by daily journaling. It’s a great way to feel inspired and create. Relax and Unwind – Without any doubt it’s relaxing and comforting. Play some soothing music and just pour your thoughts out. It’s like a good meditation session. It leaves you relaxed and refreshed. Closure – Dealing with loss can be deeply painful. Its like a wound which is open and needs to be catered to. Journaling about the past, the unresolved and unfinished business can help you give the closure that allows you to then move on. Sometimes talking it over may not be an option, sometimes it helps us prepare. One of the many methods I’ve used for my personal life and others is Journaling or Writing a letter of closure in a journal. Reflection – It’s also a great way to be able to go back to the event/situation and review everything. Recording about the situations helps you understand what worked for you, what didn’t work for you, what you need to change and what you need to work on. It’s a great way to be honest with yourself about your behaviour. Prioritizing – When you take the time out to journal, you’re giving yourself a priority. The need to spend some quality time with yourself. This little gesture, improves your self-esteem, self-confidence and of course a great way to practice some much-needed self-care. Organization – Writing about your goals, the process, the to-dos, the achievements really helps you stay organized. Especially when you start your day with it. It encourages you to be productive, avoid procrastination, improves your habit pattern, eventually decreasing your stress. Referring back to your tasks is a great way to understand your work capacity and how much time you spend on each activity. The best part about journaling is that it’s private, unless you plan on showing it to someone. It’s a spiritual way to be honest with yourself and reconnect with yourself. It also helps you maintain relationships. It’s always with you and serves you for the better. Remember – Everything takes time to work and change, especially if you’re giving it a go for the first time. Give yourself the opportunity to get started with Journaling. Try it consistently for 30 days to see how you feel about it and then take a call. Don’t worry about getting right, just show up each day. Hope this Journaling journey helps you feel balanced, peaceful, insightful and joyful. (This article was written for Ikksha - https://www.ikksha.com/blogs/news/why-you-should-journal)

Emotional eating or boredom eating happens when one is trying to replace a negative emotion or uncertainty with something tangible, in this case, food items. Emotional eating happens when one is trying to fill a void or emptiness within them for that moment. Something they can have control over. Emotional eating is not the same as physical hunger. Emotional hunger happens in the moment, cravings etc., It’s impulsive. The craving is of a particular kind of food – Chips, cheesy stuff, chocolates etc., It’s not just hunger, it’s the need for instant gratification. Emotional hunger is triggered at a specific time – after an emotional episode (argument/bad news etc.,) due to anxiety/uncertainty, after completing a taxing task. An impulse to do something productive. Emotional eating is a behaviour that can come up often. Instead of stopping it, one can work on trying to manage it. Remove the Guilt – Eat if it makes you happy but don’t feel guilty about it. Guilt is what adds to more emotional eating. Sometimes a craving is just a craving. Small Quantities – If you feel like eating something, instead of stopping it, try to eat in small quantities. If you feel like eating chocolate, instead of the full bar, take two pieces. Instead of indulging in an entire bag of chips, remove it in a bowl and then enjoy. Prepare for the craving – If you’re aware of the timings (Late night, difficult conversations etc.,) prepare something that can be healthy and can fill your craving. If you have craving for an ice-cream add some granola to it. Use it in a smoothie etc., If you feel craving for a pizza – use toppings that can be a replacement for cheese, add more spices, add more veggies etc., If chocolate is your thing try eating more dark chocolate or cacao which has less sugar. Meal-prep it so you know what you may eat when you’re triggered. Add more drinks – Lack of water intake is misunderstood as hunger. So, when you feel hungry or feel a craving. Drink something – Smoothie, water, juice, tea, herbal tea, milkshake etc., Inventory – Take a look at your pantry and remove the items that could be unhealthy for you. Don’t stock it. If you need to stock it for whatever reason, try to put it in some containers that cannot be easily accessed. Or would be too much work to access. Put it behind heavy boxes etc., If you can’t see it, chances are you may not reach for it. Face your feelings – Talk about what is really happening with a friend or partner or someone you trust. Acknowledge your feeling and name it. Naming the feeling will help you stay in control of your craving. Craving is a distraction, working on how you actually feel will help you curb your craving. Is it anger? Disappointment? Worry? Accountability – Keep track of your craving intake. What and how much you consume on a daily/weekly/occasional basis. Noting it down will help you become aware of the type of food you usually want and the quantity. Meditation and healthy habits – Include mediation and a healthy diet in your everyday life. For your emotional and physical balanced well-being. Move your body for better circulation and balancing high energy levels that sometimes release pleasure chemicals which can help manage your craving. Unsubscribe – Unsubscribe to food channels, mute food profiles or influencers (at least for a while) If you’re unable to manage this way, then you may need to hire a counsellor and/or nutritionist for your well-being based on your needs. What is important to note that you cannot really stop a craving or stop emotional eating. It can trigger anytime. What you can do is manage it pragmatically. Be kind and compassionate with yourself instead of judging yourself. Listen to what your body wants and not the other way round. Give yourself the time to understand the feelings and emotions instead of forcing yourself. Emotional eating cannot be managed only emotionally or mentally or physical it needs to be managed with a good balance of physical, emotional and mental. Managing emotional eating is never easy and requires a lot of work and mindfulness but if done compassionately, it easily work and help. (This article was written for DTNext - https://www.dtnext.in/News/City/2021/06/13035906/1300612/Face-your-feelings-remove-guilt-to-manage-emotional-.vpf)

I have always welcomed silence and solitude with open arms. As an introvert, I value it than most people. Silence has always been my strength more times than I can count. I was a silent kid too and somehow always managed to find a quiet corner wherever I went. A lot of times people confuse silence with being lonely and even in communication silence is seen as a weakness. As a kid it didn’t bother me so much I guess, but as I grew up and experienced situations, I was forced to question myself and my comfort with silence. - Is it really a bad thing, to embrace silence? - Is it a weakness if I choose to not explain myself in a conflict where it doesn’t feel necessary? - Am I wrong to find silence when everyone else seems so comfortable with noise? These were important questions. I felt weak and inferior in front of those who found it so easy to fling words across and speak whatever they wanted in a fit of rage without any accountability. Not being able to do that made me feel weak and quite frankly very stupid. I also mistook as not being able to stand for myself. Which in retrospect I now realize, wasn’t the case. I realized after a lot changed and unhealthy behaviour that I would speak up as and when needed but I needed to gauge the necessity. To be able to keep your cool requires a lot of courage and takes a lot of wisdom. Silence is not necessarily a weakness but a tool. Because to be honest everybody can talk and say whatever the hell they want when push comes to shove, but it takes a lot of courage to ignore what feels meaningless and frankly pointless. Over the years I’ve heard a lot of unnecessary things from people who didn’t really deserve my attention or respect. Giving them a minute of my time felt like a waste of time. Most of the people have apologized to me in time for being such a bully. People whom I have respected have always found a way to tell me and talk to me whatever they felt in a subtle and healthy manner. Where I could talk in a healthy way and where my point of view was accepted and appreciated. Understanding the difference made me realize the value of silence. Not everything deserves your attention. There is virtue in silence. As an introvert and a creative silence has helped me grow and progress. It preserved my energy It helped me reconnect with my intuition It made my life more peaceful I started engaging in less conflict Life seemed less messy My creativity improved I started inviting people of value in my life I started to feel more in alignment with my goals My intentions shifted from negative to positive There were less distractions I stopped looking at everyone as harmful I could venture into more productive areas of my life I stopped getting angry I calmed down and started taking charge of my life I started making better decisions I started expressing my feelings in a healthy way Embracing silence helped me wise up in my perception and my communication. I also realized that I was more assertive when instead of lashing out and being unnecessarily mean I started addressing my feeling assertively. Being able to choose silence over constantly explaining yourself or arguing or giving something attention is very different from being quiet without a choice because you feel you’re not confident to speak up or feel less than or regret not saying what you felt. There are times I speak up when it’s absolutely needed and that for me came from a place of silence. I’ve always been the one who prefers silence over chaos and noise and it’s no different with my personal conduct with people. I find it difficult to connect with people who are angry, quick to lash out, argue, insecure, narcissistic, egotistical… proving them my worth or my point of view seems very futile somehow. If you’re someone who finds it difficult to speak back and constantly regret being silent, here are quick questions to ask yourself – - Am I choosing silence because I don’t have anything to say or because it’s pointless and doesn’t matter? - Does being silent somehow make me feel less confident or inferior? If yes, why? - Does this (person/situation) deserve my attention? Please note, I’m not suggesting you deal with any kind of injustice happening with you or not to stand up for yourself. Every situation is different and everyone has their own way of dealing with conflict and unhealthy situations. Silence has been my tool of strength in many ways. I hope this article helps you in some way. If it does, do like the heart it always means a lot to me. If you journal these questions do share your responses with me. Thank you for stopping by. If you’d like to understand yourself further, you can – Work with me Shop ejournals

As unfair as it sounds, we all have that one person whose validation can change the course of our confidence, thoughts, beliefs – basically our life. Why unfair you ask? Think about the amount of control this someone has in our day-to-day life! If this said person doesn't support us, we easily question our self and easily lose faith and confidence. Having said that it’s natural and normal to want this external validation. The reason I say it’s unfair because sometimes it shakes and crumbles the very foundation that make us special and different from one another. I remember talking to a client who had a brilliant idea about this business she wanted to start, she had this impressive plan and all she needed to do was get started. But no one in her immediate circle of known and loved ones felt that way. She was heartbroken and cried. She wanted to quit her job and become a painter. She was very talented and the way she felt about painting made her face glow and her eyes sparkled. But having no validation she not only dismissed her idea but called it “impossible and stupid” She wallowed for a while. The next time we met she couldn’t shake that idea away. She kept asking, “how can I convince them that this idea is great and will work?” The truth was, it wasn’t about them and that’s what I told her. I asked her to think and list of all the reason she should get started that had nothing to do with the people who didn’t support her idea. If she could muster a few good reasons there was still a chance she could do it. Get started on her dream. She did! Now my part was to convince her to her own self that this idea was great and it could work. It wasn’t that tough but required a lot of work. Here are a few ways in which she tried to find that validation she so badly was seeking, but from her own self this time… Focus on strengths – We all have innate strengths we are born with and through our genes and some that we acquire overtime due to experience and practice. But not necessarily two people share the same strengths in the same capacity. Making this method so effective. Having the awareness of your strengths can help you overcome massive hurdles. Therefore, the first thing was to list down all the possible strengths she could think of. We had an amazing list and it surprised her too. Praise and compliment – Sometimes we tend to overlook the power of being complimented for the skills and talents we have. We try to deny it and justify it as ‘not quite good enough’ but in our hearts where no one can see, we smile and gloat. So naturally, we then discussed in all the ways and times she was complimented for her work, even if it wasn’t big, even if it was as simple as “nice” or “wow” – we noted everything down. I made her stick it on a place she could she everyday till she could believe it herself. Change inner dialogue – Our mind is truly our worst enemy when it comes to self-belief and self-acceptance and instead of guiding us, it tends to mislead us. Instead of “Yes, you can do it” we often hear “who do you think you are to do it”. Instead of “It’s okay to fail, take the risk” we often hear “Don’t be a fool, play it safe”. And this annoying little voice has a profound impact on us. So, we drew up these annoying little voices and poured them on the paper at the same time changing the dialogue to something more compassionate. This was an on-going task for her, to keep jotting it down and changing it. But changing it wasn’t enough she also had to keep reciting it. Acknowledge your negative feelings – Every time we feel a jolt of negativity, we suppress it thinking it’ll go away but all it truly does is hides and surfaces when you absolutely don’t need it, at the very worse time. It’s okay to accept and say it out loud, all that negativity you feel – Envy, jealousy, comparison, anger and more., in my opinion these feelings are a call to look within and question yourself of what they imply and mean to you. She always felt envious when other people did well in their journey and when she meditated on it, she realized it was her fear of being left behind. This gave us the opportunity to work on this fear. Quiet time – Criticism is normal. Everyone has their own opinion. But yours is the only one that matters. It’s normal to get swept away in this criticism and react harshly but some alone time can help you gather your thoughts again. Self-remembrance about what is truly important. It doesn’t play a direct hand in self-validation but plays an important one nonetheless. Focus on your progress – The true beauty of this is that only you know how to measure it. Only you need to know it and track it. Sometimes you may not have much to show for but, only you know all that you have gained from showing up, doing the work, reaching there. We discussed about the progress, going way back to base. We mapped the progress she had made not only in her craft but also her income and quality of her work. She realized even though it felt slow, she had made incredible improvements and learnt so much about the art. Eventually she was able to get started, small but steady. She decided not to quit her job till she was 100% sure and started this as her side-business. She kept showing up, had more bad days and less good days. But she kept making incredible changes. And most importantly it was because she convinced her own self she could do it. Of course my example was about someone's professional life but this is applicable just as easily in your personal life too. Whether it's your body type, skin colour, your hobbies, interests, choice of clothing,., just about anything that has to do with you. External validation is also so important and sometime very much needed but the problem arises when this starts becoming a dependency and a way to people-please. By self-validation it no where implies that the people who couldn’t support you had bad intentions but perhaps their validation wasn’t required. Their approval wasn’t really needed. I hope the next time you feel unsupported, this article will help you uplift yourself. If you'd like to work with me - take a look at my services

When I became a Psychologist, it was easy for me to separate my personal problems and focus on my clients. No matter how bad things were in my personal life I always managed to stay fine with my sessions and work. Which sounds like a good thing. I’d never take a day of just for me or take a break from work. I usually encourage clients to keep in touch via chat between sessions so I can offer as much support as I can. It’s always a pleasure and I always felt good to support clients but sometimes it would get very tiring and instead of addressing it right then, I’d tend to build it up only to experience a major burnout not just physical but also emotional. I realized that being hard on myself was so easy, involuntary, unintentional and yet so easy. I’ve seen this pattern among the women I’ve worked with way too often. It often starts small but eventually becomes a part of us, our thoughts, our habits, our feelings and the way we behave with our self and with people around us. I remember working with a client who had very strict dietary schedules because she wanted to control her weight so she could feel loved and accepted. She was always on edge and never gave herself the permission to eat the food that made her happy. She would feel guilty even if she thought of fried or cheesy stuff. Another client ran her business with a lot of gusto but soon it was all she was doing. She started comparing herself with other business owners and experienced major burnouts and wasn’t ready to give herself a break. Eventually all the excitement about her business started to feel like work. Sounds so small and simple and yet if we don’t understand the ways in which we’re usually hard on ourselves it can control us. So, I’ve made a list of ways we’re usually hard on our self. If you can relate with even one of the ways, try to understand it and work around it. You Over exert yourself You tend to Compare yourself with others and tend to compete a lot Everything is a priority you’re unable to compartmentalize You don’t feel good enough or Impressive enough No pain no gain is the philosophy that you live by You never ask for help or guidance and consider it a sign of weakness Lack of something makes you feel inferior or less than You don’t appreciate/compliment yourself enough Play it too safe because you don’t want to make mistakes Too much focus on perfectionism and being right all the time Cannot say No to all that you don’t want to do and yes to all the things you want to do Cannot put yourself first Do not express your emotions Try to hide your weaknesses way too often Feel guilty a lot and often have many regrets Spend too much time overthinking These are just a few signs that may help you go easy on yourself. The important thing to remember here is that it’s not your fault. Sometimes these small signs go unnoticed until something really big happens or you’re forced into a corner and you have no choice but to work on it. These patterns may stem from your childhood experiences, the upbringing you had and the ideas with which you were raised or events that have created a huge impact on you. I usually use the approach of self-compassion, forgiveness and mindset reset with my clients based on their patterns and beliefs and experiences. It takes a lot of time to change and try something new. Its always easy to slip back into old habits but having an awareness of these signs can help you each time. If this article helps you, let me know of the signs that you usually have trouble with and if you’ve ever worked on them. If you’d like to work with me so you don’t have to deal with it all by yourself, join my coaching program asap.

Self-doubt is a thing. It’s a painful thing. It’s real and it’s not a lot of fun. It’s so easy to put your faith in someone else. So easy to find no flaw in someone else and to easily rely on someone else. But it’s not the same when it comes to self. After a while, it become a part of you. A part of your skin and the load of self-doubt is heavy to carry around. Looking at other successful women I would feel very envious. About how confident they are about how they don’t have to second guess themselves. They’re so secure and comfortable in their skin. Yes, that made me envious. I would feel stupid, useless and wished I was someone else. Anyone else apart from me. Sounds sad doesn’t it? But I reckon I’m not the only one who felt that way. I’m not the only one with self-doubts. It happens to everybody and there’s no easy way out. But there’s always something or the other you can do about this feeling of self-doubt. I don’t know in which area of your life you feel less than worthy. I don’t know in which area of your life you want to feel secure and happy. Maybe it’s just one, maybe its all of it. Maybe you just need a small push. Maybe you need a reminder. I can only hope and guess that this little technique I used with myself helps you too. I took a small challenge where I complimented myself each day for the next 30 days of my life. I think I felt behind in my life and I felt as if whatever I did or would do would never would match up to the dreams I had. So, I decided to try this out. It couldn’t hurt and anyway, what compliment could I possibly give myself? I’d tire after a day or two. So, couldn’t really hurt! I started off really simple. Felt extremely ridiculous too. Somehow got to week one easily. Still felt as if all that I’d complimented me for was untrue and fake. Week two turned out to be insightful and slowly there was a small wave of belief. Was it possible that I was really this way? Am I really this person? Do I really have all these qualities in me? I decided to keep at it and finish my challenge of 30 days. And here’s what I discovered about me. #1 – Felt a strong connection with myself #2 – Felt more comfortable in my skin #3 – Felt free in my thoughts #4 – Didn’t mind the flaws so much #5 – Discovered a new side of me #6 – Learnt new things about myself #7 – My relationships improved #8 – Could really let go of the burden #9 – Started achieving better things Therefore, I invite you to take this 30-day complimenting challenge with me. I cannot promise you that you’ll feel all that I felt or you’ll feel good about yourself quite instantly but if you keep at it, I’m sure you’ll learn so much about yourself. You’ll want to feel worthy and relax with yourself. You’ll want to improve and work on yourself. It couldn’t hurt to try this practice. For the next 30 days. Make a chart, scribble in your journal, put it in a jar and review it after a week and then after 30 days. Whatever works for you. Try to write something different each day but don’t hesitate to repeat the same thing. It’s okay to take it slow, but being consistent is the key. If you do take this challenge, do write to me and share your experience with me, I’d love to know more about it. Thank you for stopping by. Work with me Claim Free Training Join me on Instagram

(Disclaimer - Multitasking is not a bad thing, It helps in many ways but in this article I want to stress on the importance of Mono-tasking in a heavily distracted and competitive world) It was possibly the worst 60 minutes of my life. I couldn’t get out of it and that day I realized how often we take things for granted. The way we’re on a weird high and slowing down seems so sinful. Not to mention the kind of emotional and mental exhaustion that comes along. I was entertaining people and I wasn’t particularly fond of them but I knew etiquette and was respectful and polite enough with them. But the same courtesy wasn’t extended to me. That is something I didn’t appreciate. But the more I think about it the more I feel this is just the beginning. So, here I was smiling and trying to make conversation and suddenly I see this woman conflicted between using her smartphone and listening to me. It didn’t take me long enough to realize her smartphone was so much more entertaining that I was. (I’m just speculating) Anyway, I see this happening and somehow, I fell prey to this cold competition with her smartphone. At one point I remember talking very loudly to get her attention fixed on me. But I failed. Obviously, the phone wasn’t the problem. This woman tried to multitask having a conversation and using her phone. Which was quite disastrous. Eventually I accepted defeat and stopped talking altogether. Sadly, the woman didn’t notice that I’d gone mute and the phone got her full attention after all. Which was both sad (on her part) and humiliating (on my part, briefly). I can somehow never grasp the concept of multitasking. I’m very good with multi-passionate and definitely advocate it but multitasking is not for me. I always felt that multitasking was extremely cool and that is something I haven’t been able to achieve even today. But then again, I can’t do what the woman (whom I had to entertain) did. Come to think of it, I prefer mono-tasking. I find mono-tasking not only peaceful but extremely effortless. Here’s why - #1 – It requires your full attention – While mono-tasking, the idea is to focus on one task at a time, goes without saying the attention cannot be split into two tasks. So, if I’m reading, I can’t also be watching Netflix or worse texting. I won’t be able to fully commit to either. #2 – It gets more work done in less time – This is obviously a no brainer. Multitasking brings a lot of distractions along with it and when I’m focusing on a single task, I’m prone to get work done without distractions. So, while I’m tying this article, I’m not doing anything else that equally requires my attention. Making my thoughts more precise, less distraction ergo I complete the article in given time (even lesser). #3 – No physical or emotional exhaustion – Since my full focus and attention is on one thing, I don’t tire out easily and my mind is not exhausted which otherwise would experience exhaustion. I would definitely tire myself if I had to have an in-person conversation with someone as well as keep checking my phone. May not seem at that time but I would tire myself eventually. #4 – Less Distraction – Similar to point 2, there definitely less distraction. By less distraction I’ve realized I feel more confident in my ability to make decisions and make better choices. At the same time, it helps to keep my overthinking in check. #5 – Less Guilt – I love reading and I love streaming a good movie and I want to enjoy these activities without any guilt or for the sake of passing time. When I schedule time for a game or for a movie or a book and fully enjoy that there’s no guilt looming over me for having wasted time. Which I would do if I were trying to accomplish a task and at the same time watch a movie. Guilt causes further distraction and burnout. #6 – Always have time for more – There is so much more to schedule in when one task is completed after the next instead of scramming everything all at once. This is essential to save time for family, loved ones and even for yourself, to do all that you always want to do but ‘work gets in the way’. #7 – Completed tasks – Call me a nerd but I really hate incomplete tasks and reluctantly having to move on to the next task, all the while thinking about the incomplete task. Mono-tasking means I complete one task at a time and this ensures that I complete the task. This also allows me to be more creative and fully present for the next task. These are some of my reasons for mono-tasking and clients who have adopted this have found that they have a better control of their productivity and they have so much to show for all their hard work. Some of them are working women plus moms and they somehow find that mono-tasking helps them give clear attention to their kids and they work without having to feel guilty about the other. They sleep better, their social life has improved, they always have time for all that really matters. They no longer feel overwhelmed and overburdened by the things they need to do. Mono-tasking has been chalked down to boring, routine, too serious, slow paced – but I feel it balances the already fast paced lives that we live. It compliments and is compatible with the instant life we are accustomed to. Digitally our lives have become so much faster and without a doubt it is a relief to be in digital era. In my opinion, if we take it one task at a time, we don’t become slow paced, it makes it easier to catch up to the day to day without the cliché of feeling very stressed and overwhelmed. In this article I’ve talked about work since that is my priority but you can replace it with your priority which could be work or even your family, your physical health, your passion, your daily chores, your relationships etc., Thank you for stopping by. Work With me Claim Free guide

The Pause, Breathe, Dream Podcast Episode - 11 I often give clients anecdotes from my personal life and initially I felt a bit scared to talk about my experiences and I often wondered how I would seem to them. I always feared their judgement. But so many clients have connected with me and I see them breathing a sigh of relief and they tell me, "oh thank you for sharing, I thought I was the only one." In this episode I'm sharing about how I look at vulnerability and the importance of being genuinely honest with our self about the way we feel. It's an intense and a very delicate topic. A lot has been said and talked about showing vulnerability and the importance of expressing how we really feel. How often have you felt like talking about something but pulled yourself back afraid of being judged and ridiculed? I hope this episode helps you look at this from a different perspective. This Podcast is Available on Spotify, Google Podcast If you're interested in working on your confidence, productivity and stress, I'd love to connect with you. You can - Work with me Read the blog Connect on Instagram Claim the free Training Guide

Do you listen to your gut brain? Know what it sounds like? – Try this simple practice A few years ago, I was at this job and I remember creating some content for a presentation and suddenly I had this weird feeling as if I wanted to run. There was a voice within that kept screaming – ‘Danger’! I thought it wasn’t anything worth paying attention to because I feel anxious easily. But this feeling just wouldn’t leave me. The more I worked the voice became louder and louder. I felt really heavy in my chest and I couldn’t breathe… I quickly ran to the bathroom and as soon as I entered, I started crying. Deep sobs. I couldn’t understand what went wrong. I calmed myself and asked myself – “What do you need?” Almost immediately I said to myself, “I need you to leave this sick job, like now!” I ignored it. Yes, my job sucked. There was less of counselling and more of politics. The environment wasn’t just toxic it was sick and filled with paranoia. I knew it wasn’t the kind of job I dreamed of. Far from it. It was a means to an end, just to say I’m working or doing something productive. My mind and body were always in a weird conflict anytime each time I started to get ready for work each morning. It was getting tougher each passing day. My body felt heavy and I would experience these bouts of crying frequently. More than 4/5 times a week (which is not good at all). I started to worry now. I kept getting this feeling that I needed to leave this job, Now! But I kept ignoring this feeling. Naturally assuming that perhaps I’m just nervous and this is a temporary feeling. One day, I remember going to work but not stepping inside. This heaviness in my chest kept increasing and I remember going to a café, ordering a cappuccino, taking out my journal and writing these words, “I’m done with this place. I don’t like it here and I want to quit. I don’t know what the hell I will do next. How will I earn money but I want to leave!” I felt relaxed ordered another cappuccino, read a book till I finished my coffee, went home. The next day, I quit! (Didn't blame the coffee) I know now, this voice that kept asking me to leave my job was my gut or intuition and the more I ignored it the worse things felt. I’m not a neuroscientist or studied the brain in a scientific fashion but I understand that intuition bridges the gap between our conscious and unconscious brains. What we call sixth sense or gut brain. The reason we use gut brain or intuition interchangeably because studies have now proven that our gut has a brain of its own. Our gut has an entire network of neurotransmitters called the enteric nervous system. So, the sensations of anxiety and panic I experienced was my gut brain telling me to leave this job, Now! I’ve had similar experiences. A sensation that either gets me all excited (butterflies in my stomach) – which is good or I feel extremely anxious (puke, panic all over) – which is not good. We all have a gut brain. We are highly intuitive, all of us. During a session many times I ask my clients to listen to what their gut brains is trying to tell them. It seems silly at first but the more they listen the more they realize how this brain was always there guiding them. Can you think of instances from your personal and professional life where this gut brain of yours helped you? Pause, close your eyes, breathe and think. If you can note down these experiences, they always come in handy later on. Now the most important question arises, how to listen to the gut brain? I’m going to share a simple breathwork practice I use each time I need to listen or understand what my gut brain is trying to tell me. It also helps me in staying focused and prevents me from said, danger. The Practice Step 1 - Sit comfortably on a chair or your bed with your back straight. Close your eyes. Place both 3 fingers from both your hands on the forehead and the pinkie or little finger on your eyelids and close your eyes with your thumbs on either side. Please be very gentle with your eyes and forehead so you don’t cause yourself unnecessary pain. Once you’re comfortable in this position start by deepening your breaths slowly and gently. Since your ears are closed with your thumbs, you’ll be able to listen to your breath easily since it’ll cut off the external sounds. Step 2 - Then place both your hands on your stomach and lower your chin slowly toward your chest and continue with your deep breathing in the same manner as you did before. (Do this 3 times gently initially and once it becomes easy for you to practice it daily, you can then slowly extend it to 8 to 10 times.) Pay attention to your gut and your breath both the times. Allow thoughts and feelings to surface. If you feel overwhelmed and feel like crying, allow yourself to cry. Open your eyes gently once you’re done with the breathing and note your thoughts/feelings or experience in a journal (keep it ready and next to you so you don’t lose contact with the experience you’ve just had.) Be very kind and gentle with yourself and over the next few days observe yourself and observe how often does your gut brain or intuition helps you in making decisions or choices or anything else. This breath-work will help you in your anxiety and decision making. I hope you find the time to practice this little technique if you want to improve your intuition. If you like this article do write to me and tell me how this practice helped you. Share this with your loved ones and don’t forget to subscribe to the mailing list to receive the next article directly in your inbox. If you’re interested in working with me, apply now for the coaching program and let’s connect! 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